Nervous!!

I have had several things making me nervous this week. The first is that I have a biopsy on Thursday and I am very nervous about it. I think it will come back fine and then I can proceed to have a procedure that is needed, I just hate anything like this. I hate knowing I will feel pain and I hate knowing that I am not in control at all, which is a whole other issue. The second thing is that my husband informed me that when he met with a NC state representative for church planting she said to him," You do know that you are church planting in the hardest area in the state?" WHAT??? ok, this makes me nervous. As they talked they went on to understand why and we already knew most of the reasons. There is a lot of religious traditions here in this area. I think that this kind of stuff is the worst of all to try and reach people. The reason why is because many people you talk to think they are okay because that is what they grew up learning and believing. They may have never truly heard sound gospel and what it really means. It's much easier to tell someone about the gospel who knows they need it rather than someone who has heard it all their life and it means nothing to them and has never really changed their life. This is a huge thing for our church and we are taking on the challenge. Not because we think as imperfect humans we have anything to offer but because God has so much He wants the people of this county to understand and He chose to use us, as Paul says,"the chief of sinners."

I have always been prone to worry and fear in my life and as I have grown in the Lord, He has helped through a journey of total surrender to Him. It is hard for someone who likes control to just hand over the details of their lives to God. As I have gotten older, I have begun to see that God is faithful and he promises to never leave me or forsake me. So, as I walk around nervous, He still walks beside me whispering all those promises to me and I have moments of peace. I ask for prayer from all of my friends in these two areas and that you would remember us as we walk this journey.

Another Father's Day

I can't believe this is the second Father's Day without my dad. I still miss him the same and wish I could have had him longer. I know that he would be so proud of Josh for planting a church and "helping  people find Jesus," as he would say. I wish he could be here for all of it and all the awesome years that God is going to walk with us. I still celebrate you dad!! I love you dad and will see you soon.

He is Good!

Is God still good when bad things happen? Is he still in control when bad news comes our way? ABSOLUTELY!!! It has always been these kinds of questions that mankind has asked for generations and generations. Bad things happen because we live in a fallen and sinful world which started in the Garden of Eden. When Adam and Eve decided to sin, our world became dark and full of evil, death, sickness, and separation from God. We needed a rescuer and a defender. We needed a SAVIOR!!! Jesus came to make that separation forever gone. Walking through hard times can be devastating and overwhelming but our God never changes. He is good before the bad stuff, during it, and after it. He still controls the results of bad news at the doctor's office and he still controls healing and restoration.

This weekend has been a very weird time as I received some news from the doctor that will change me and my family forever. I feel that God already prepared me for this because of the love He has for me. I am His daughter and though He allowed such things to happen, He will use all things to His glory and honor. I am blown away by how He has already showed me areas that I need to grow in through it all and how I am lost without knowing and serving Him even when bad news comes. He is STILL GOOD and worthy to be praised. As I walk through uncertainty, I am at peace in knowing that He is ENOUGH for me and that He walks so closely with me through it all. I am counting my blessings because I have so many and know that God's timing is perfect. HE IS GOOD!!!!

Down, then Lifted!!

Last week was weird for me. I felt kinda out of sorts and even a bit down. I had no reason for the feeling that I knew of. I did not feel close to my family and to the Lord. I was really lazy and had days when getting out of bed was all I could do. I kept asking myself what was wrong and why in the world was I feeling this way. As the weekend came and we were faced with some strange feelings as a family, I realized something: When I live by my emotions and the opinion of others, I AM DOWN! That is what was wrong with me all week. Through the weekend it made sense to me why those emotions had overwhelmed me and my daily life. Most of the time, opinions of others don't really bother me too much but there are days when they do. It could be that there is a hurt there that I have not dealt with or Satan reminds me of how much better other people are at what they do and I compare. Then, God brought Sunday night around and I was instantly lifted. Is what not some audible voice that lifted me or some beautiful words but it was when people came to my house and they were filled with so much joy and passion. These people are the people that God has brought to our church planting team and each one of them are so special to me in different ways. Some I barely know but see Jesus all over them. Others I have known for awhile and God is working great things in their lives and making himself known to them. We sang and talked about the holiness of God and what that means. We chatted about people in our lives that we need Jesus to work a miracle with and the awesome opportunities God is laying before us to grow His kingdom. Before the night was over, I WAS LIFTED!!! God used sweet fellowship and community to uplift me and bring me to a place of humility and acceptance. I am so thankful for how God works and the people that He has allowed me to work with to spread His fame. I am so excited for the future and all that it will bring. I am so glad that when we are down, we can be LIFTED!!!! I say all this to encourage each of you to find people that you can have fellowship with that will allow God to use them to bring crazy joy to your life. I pray that each of you can have this kind of fellowship that brings this much of a change in you by just being themselves and all that God created them to be.