Today, I'm Wrestling!!

OK, so if you have a brain like mine, you wrestle with lots of thoughts and things that pop into your head. It could come from views from others, studying God's Word, TV, preaching from the Sunday before, ETC! Well, today mine is figuring out the line you draw of being in the world but not of it. How far do you go to protect you and your families walks with the Lord without totally removing yourself from reality and the call we have to make Jesus famous? Now, I am homeschooling this year. My decision to do that was not to shelter Katelyn totally or to keep her from every bad thing that could possibly be out there. My reasons were as follows: I did not like the idea of someone else pouring into her heart 8 hours a day, I wanted to be there when she learned something new about her Savior, financially, her foundation needs to be set and strong before she experiences the world at an older age, my view of education, and so much more.So, as I wrestle with this line thing, I think about Halloween and Christmas. I think about movies and music. I think about her friendships and places we go. I have sorda come to this conclusion. Whether its to celebrate a holiday or watch a certain movie, Josh and I as her parents can incorporate Jesus into anything and use it as a teaching tool. To totally remove her, in my opinion, could set her up to fail in loving the people of this world but teaching her to be separate in her thinking and world view. I want her to see the world and the people in it as Jesus does, not a us and them mentality but to know that she and I could easily be where they are had it not been for the saving grace of Jesus and his ability to change us.Like I said, I am wrestling, which means I don't have all the answers yet. I am just journaling my thoughts hoping for some wisdom from my friends and Lord!!!

Remembering 9/11

I can remember exactly everything about this day 9 years ago.I was driving to class at Liberty university, listening to the radio. When they broke through and said that the first tower had been hit, my first thought was out of all the places for a plane to crash, it crashes into the World Trade Center....weird. As the day went on and they realized what was happening, it was the first time I felt unsafe living in America. At that point, I realized that we were just as unsafe as the rest of the world. I began to feel like God was trying to tell us something. as a follower of Christ, I knew that nothing could happen unless it went through God first. I knew that for some reason, God took His hand of protection off of America for little moment. So, I asked a lot of questions. What should we learn? What was He teaching us as Americans?

Gotta tell the Truth!!

Ok...so to be honest is not always popular or easy to do. Especially as a mom, telling the truth of being a mom takes a lot. We are prideful and want to compare ourselves to every other mom out there. So, I will go ahead and make all of you feel a lot better about yourselves. I wrestle daily with thinking that I am the only mom who has bad days. The reason for that is because I see other moms who seem to be so patient and kind. They never seem stressed or angry. Their kids seem to always behave and rise up every morning and called her blessed. They always talk about how healthy they feed their children and advanced their kids are at EVERYTHING. They seem to easily submit to their husbands and have plenty of energy to meet his every need. Oh, and the cooking. They are not only good at cooking, THEY LOVE IT!! You walk in their house and you would never think they had children because it is extremely clean and always organized. They exercise everyday and never seem to have trouble eating all the right stuff. Lastly, they love to be around their children 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, never needing a break or a ladies night out.

Well, as you see, I wrote a lot of " They SEEM to".  We look at other moms and ASSUME all of these things and maybe some of them are true but either way, WE REALLY DON'T KNOW!! So, here's the kind of mom I am:


* I am not very patient and get easily stressed and anxious, but apologize for it when it happens.
* My children are taught to make wise choices and please the Lord but on any given day (especially when everyone's watching), they completely forget all wisdom and sanity.
* My children (Katelyn because Samuel can't talk yet), wakes up in the mornings and tells me I have bad breath and that not only am I imperfect but would rather go spend the day with Mawmaw and Pawpaw.
* I feed my children what they need, when I can, but there are plenty of weeks that mac-n-cheese and french fries is all that's on the menu.
* I have very smart children (which every mom thinks), but whether or not they are advanced and really good at everything they do, is not my biggest concern. It is how much they love Jesus and others.
* I love my husband and it is still very hard to submit to everything because I am selfish and like control.
* I love my husband but I am really tired....ALL THE TIME!!!(need I say more)
* I HATE COOKING!!!!!! I LOVE EATING OUT!!!!
* My house is not cluttered and I am pretty organized but I can't remember the last time I mopped my hardwoods and dusted my baseboards. That's because I know its better to spend time with my kids and pour into them rather than having a Martha Stewart Home (so remember that if you every come to my house).
* I don't like to exercise, don't want to exercise, and I LOVE FRENCH FRIES!!! I know I need to lose about 25 pounds because of pregnancy but my two kids are worth every pound!!!
* I need time alone and a lot of breaks or I may very well have a nervous breakdown.I need time alone with my husband regularly because my relationship with my husband (after my relationship with my Savior) comes above my relationship with my children and anyone else.
* I have no problem going away for a night or two and when that happens, sometimes, I don't wanna go back home yet!!!
* Lastly, if I get 10 minutes to spend with the Lord, ALONE....THAT IS A GOOD DAY!!! Most of my "quiet" times are in the midst of Katelyn making her phonics sounds while schooling and Samuel climbing up me because I am actually doing something that doesn't involve him.

So, now that I have made every mom feel really good about themselves, I will close with this:
I AM AN IMPERFECT WOMAN,but I serve a PERFECT GOD!!!! He is the only way I get through everyday and I have no problem admitting all my faults because in every one of those weaknesses, He is strong. I serve a God who walks with me everyday through all the junk and still loves me at the end of the day. After all the impatience and selfishness, HE LOVES ME!!!! I have come to the conclusion, that any greatness in me is from Him and any difficulty I go through each day, IS FROM HIS ALLOWING!!!!! He is teaching me and growing me to be the wife and mom He's called me to be. So, I will rest in that, AND I WILL STOP COMPARING!!!!

9 Years in the Making

Well, I was encouraged by a friend to start a blog. Not because I have massive amounts of wisdom to share or because everybody loves to hear what I have to say, but for the fact that writing is good therapy. So, I am taking her advice and seeing how it works. I thought I would start my blog off with what the last 9 years of being married to the most wonderful man has brought. I am a stay-at-home mom and as of this year, a homeschooling mom to my 7 year old daughter Katelyn and 1 year old son, Samuel. My husband, Josh, is a Minister to parents and students at a church here in NC and we stay pretty busy. God has been so good to us and even on the bad days, which today is one of those days, I know that I am blessed. That is the basics and about as deep as I'll go for now.

Josh and I are in love and everyday I see God truly growing him. We met in college at Liberty University. He is from the North and me from the South so let's just say we do things a bit different. I know that God made him for me. He calms me down, which that in and of itself, is a job. I am so excited to see what the next nine years brings us.