A Date With a Sweet Boy!!

I have had to leave my baby boy a lot lately. After celebrating the end of the school year and a birthday away with my Katelyn, Samuel has had some time away from mom. Now, in about 10 years, that will be something he may like but right now he loves being with me and misses me when I'm gone. Today, I decided we would spend a day doing things he loves, which are some pretty fun and easy things to do. First, we went and played trains at his favorite place, Barnes and Noble, which he calls"the bookstore". He was so excited and ran right back to the train table and was ready for some time pushing those trains around. We left there with a coloring book in tow that he picked out. I had to run into one store to look for something but he got to eat M&M's while in the "not so fun" store so he was happy as could be. Our next stop was to continue the sugar love that Samuel has and have some ice cream at Coldstone. He wanted a cotton candy ice cream cone with sprinkles and he got just that!!! As we sat there, we talked; well, we talked on a two year old level. We talked about his favorite train, which is James, and who is best friends are, which are daddy, sissy and me. I told him how much I loved him and that he was my favorite little boy. He would just look at me like he already knew all of that and would smile like he was the happiest boy in the world. We ended our day at Walmart to pick up a few things but he was ok with that because he got to get some chewing gum.....I KNOW, I KNOW ...more sugar. Samuel loves all things sweet and I had to just sweeten him up today. As we were riding home he asked if he was going to have to take a nap and I said no, that we would just snuggle on the couch and read some books(another thing he loves).

As I sat and watched Samuel eat ice cream today, I thought about the possibility that one day it may not excite his soul to spend a day with me. He may grow up and want to do so many other things but right now being with me is one of his most favorite things to do. He lights up when I play with him and sometimes he just looks at me and says, " I love you mommy," out of the blue. He is ALWAYS LOUD and can flip a temper in a heartbeat but when it's just him and I, sweetness just pours out. Today, he was never loud but tons of fun. Today, he ate all things sugar and loved every second of it. Today, I am his best friend and the person who puts a big smile on his face. I will cherish today and remember these times of sweetness and fun. I love that I had a date with a sweet boy today!!!

Samuel with Cotton Candy Ice Cream all over him!!!!

What 9 Years Has Brought....

Today, my baby girl turns 9. I almost don't want to talk about it because I think about how next year she'll be double digits and I am just in shock. As I sit here and remember these last 9 years, I know that without a doubt God gave Katelyn Faith to us for so many reasons. One reason was to stretch us and OH how she has done that. When she turned 3 we saw an amazing strong will in her and we had no idea how to handle it most of the time. She would push us at all costs and not let up very easily. She always had a sweet spirit underneath all of that will. As she grew we had many nights of battles and days of discipline that left us tired and not understanding. We continued to teach her about Jesus and teach her how to turn that strong will into something that she could use to follow the Lord so closely. Once we realized that God gave her that strong will, we began to see her so differently. Another reason God gave us Katelyn was to show us just how amazing He is. Katelyn has always had a heart that wanted to lead (we used to call it "bossy"). We very rarely saw her follow other children. She was usually the one teaching them or starting a game that everyone could play. She taught us how to not care what anyone thought as long as we were pleasing to God and to be the one that makes a difference in the life of others. Katelyn will always be our little girl who loves to play outside and get dirty, wants nothing to do with pink or princesses and doesn't care what anyone thinks about that, strives to help me through the day, loves being a big sister and teaching Samuel new things, loves forts and swords, loves babies and animals, loves sports and climbing trees, cares for the weak and sad, rocks it out to Lecrae and Toby Mac, could go the rest of her life never wearing a dress, and walks with such a confidence and grace that is an amazing example to us each day! Thank you Lord for this amazing gift you have blessed us with and we thank you that we get to be her parents. I can't wait to see what she will become as I see who she is now in Jesus. I love you Katelyn Faith, to the moon and back!!!!

Defeated!

I type this at an hour that is way past my bedtime but I am praying through some feelings of defeat and insecurity. I have had some moments today of feeling defeated and that I don't quite measure up. Moments of feeling weak and unseen. Moments of feeling beaten up and down. Although I know where or shall I say,who, these feelings come from, nevertheless, I am awake and plan to stay awake praying for truth to invade my heart. Everything with in me wants God to radically fill me with peace and assurance that although I do not measure up, HE DOES! He sees me, lifts me up, and keeps His hand ever on me. I can feel all sorts of ways but the Word is full of truth that I must believe in order to combat the war that my emotions wage within me. I pray for calmness and rest for my soul and constant help in this time. I pray for the feeling of defeat to be turned into the feeling of truth and power. I pray these things for as long as it takes and will know that his mercies are new every morning and great is His faithfulness!

Orphans

In the last year I have been blown away by people that are part of our church that have adopted or taken in children in order to share the love of Christ with them. These people take this verse, "Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you."James 1:27, and they live the words. We have friends that inspire me to sacrifice on all levels in order to obey the Lord. My friends Scott and Katie are adopting a sweet 15 year old boy from Latvia. That seems pretty cool and not too hard right? Well, they already have 4 CHILDREN of their own under the age of 7. Now, that kind of changes things huh?? Every time I hear their story of how God has completely called them to this, I wonder if I could ever have the faith they do? I wonder if I could ever put myself aside and open my home to an orphan who needs their love and the love of Jesus? I am in awe of how God is using them to change this boy's life and future. 
We have so many families in our church that have adopted, are adopting, or are taking some orphans from Latvia into their home for a month this summer. They inspire me to think outside of myself and my comfort. They inspire me to see orphans and children as a gift. They inspire me to see God and His word in a whole new way. They are living Jesus and these children will see Him because of their love and sacrifice. I am so blessed to have these people in my life and in our church so that I am constantly reminded that God is bigger than I can even fathom and these children get to experience that because of their obedience and faith!!

What If.....

I am so excited these days with a little bit of anxiety as well. We are getting everything ready for our church plant in September and what a ride we are on. I am seeing lost people differently than I ever have and envisioning a body of believers that I have get to do life with. I wanted to share a quick video that will show you the heart of Gospel Life Church. God has called us to a great work and He receives all glory and praise!!!!

 

MOMS...Be Encouraged!!!

I always think about Mother's Day as a day that I either feel bad for the job I'm doing or excited for the days ahead. It all depends on how the year has gone I guess. I don't know how you moms feel on this day but I thought I'd share a great little video that will hit home to any mom and add some humor to this season of our lives.  Let it spur you to be more for the sake of Christ and let it encourage you to continue walking in this amazing calling. I pray that I will be the mom God's called me to be not for any other reason but to glorify God. BE ENCOURAGED!!!!(and have a good laugh)!!

BTW: I have gotten a vacuum cleaner for Mother's Day.......had to remember to be joyful in all things. ;)

Tragedies of Life!!

My earlier post was about the missed opportunity to love on my daughter. Well she finished her writing about what her little heart went through when she lost her PawPaw she was very close to. I thought I would share why my little girl needed some compassion yesterday. She is becoming quite the writer!!! (BTW, Claudette is her adult BFF, her former SS teacher who Katelyn thinks hung the moon).

Tragedies of Life    

 I was now 7 when sadness came up into my life. It was 1 year ago and I was at Awana when my mom never picked me up. So I waited till about 7:30 then slowpoke finally picked me up. I asked her in the car what took so long. She said that she had to go to the Denver hospital because my best pawpaw had got sick and was not felling well. As I started to cry I asked if he was ok. My mom said he was fine but you never know what can happen. About 3 days later my mom went to visit my pawpaw at the hospital. We where watched by I think many different people. When mom got home we ate and went to bed silently. That night I got up hearing my mom crying. I knew something was wrong. The next morning I woke to the question if pawpaw was ok. Mom said he was fine but he had to go on a ventilator because he was not breathing well. So then we had to go to another house this time we went to Mrs. Ally’s house. I really knew something was wrong because that night we had to spend the night at Mrs. Ally’s house. The next day mom and dad picked us up. I could not stop asking if pawpaw where ok so I asked again. This time mom said he was not doing so well. So the next day we where getting ready to go somewhere when mom and dad went into the room and shut the door. I ran in knowing something was wrong. As I walked in mom was crying I asked if pawpaw where ok. Well sadly mom said that he had died that morning. As I tried to hold the tears I knew I could not. That morning I felt like some one had ripped my heart out and threw it in the garbage. I felt SO MUCH pain in me. I mean I was back in forth to peoples houses spending the night and then I go home and I hear that my best pawpaw had died I mean I never even got to say bye. But I knew that God would not give up on my family and me. If you see this Claudette I want to say that you probably feel more pain then me from losing your mom. But I know that even though I have never met or seen your mom that I know you had a good one because she raised you to be a great person. And to anyone who has lost a loved one that God will always be with you and I have learned that.

Mommy Fail!

Do you ever have those days when you wish they would just end and you could wake up to the next morning and just forget about it? Well, yesterday was my day to feel that way. My daughter woke up yesterday morning in the worst mood. She was immediately short and even rolled her eyes a few times. The inside of me wanted to lock her in her room all day and tell her to read her Bible. I mean, I never wake up in a bad mood right???(with a sarcastic tone). I kept asking her what her problem was and that she could march herself right back into her room if that's how she was going to act all day. This momma showed no grace, compassion, or love. We went through our day and she was very quiet and didn't smile very much. I just figured she was tired and didn't want to do her testing. This is the point in your homeschool year where everyone in your house is exhausted and visions of warm sand and cool water bounce through your head everyday. I chalked her attitude up to that reason and pushed her all day long to get things done with a happy heart.

She was made to go to bed early for a previous act of disobedience earlier in the day. We put her to bed with a cold,"Go to bed" and walked out of her room. All of sudden I hear my husband in her room and she was bawling and yelling. I listened from outside her room as she weeped to her daddy about how much she missed her PawPaw. She kept saying things like,"Y'all told me he was going to be ok" and "I would give up everything I have just to have PawPaw." As Josh just let her cry and talk he asked her when she started feeling this way. Then she said something that made my heart hurt and I felt like the worst mom of the year. She said, "This morning, I wrote down everything I felt at this time last year when PawPaw passed away. I wrote the whole thing; the way I felt, how sad I was, and how I didn't like having to go from house to house." I knew right there why she had acted that way all day. I knew why she was being quiet and didn't want to do anything. Why didn't I just gracefully and softly ask her what was wrong? Why didn't I put my arm around her and ask her why she was acting so different today? I missed a moment of loving on my daughter and teaching her about grief and God. I was so mad that I didn't simply slow down and tune into her heart instead of assuming that she was just being a ball full of attitude for no reason.

I woke up this morning felling defeated and condemned that I missed this amazing opportunity. I felt like the worst mom and the worst disciple of Christ for my children to see. So, I read some scripture and apologized to Katelyn for not noticing her heart yesterday. We cried and laughed and are now ready for the day that God has for us. Condemnation is not from the Lord and I know that my Savior has redeemed that heart moment between us. I pray that I go through each day slowly and remember that my kids are little people who need me and when they it usually comes out in a negative behavior. I must speak to their hearts and not their behavior. I hope that my mommy fail will encourage you to press on in the matter of reaching our children's hearts every chance we get!!

An 8 Year Old Blog

My daughter had an assignment in Spelling that she needed to write an autobiography. She didn't think that would be very interesting since she is only 8 years old( sorry ...8 and 3/4). She decided she wanted to write about her salvation and when she turned her heart to the Lord instead. That seemed much more interesting. Then, she asked if she could have her own blog. I didn't know how I felt about that but I didn't want to stop her from loving to write stories and journaling. I told her that if she wanted to write a blog and share it, that I would put it on my blog and then she could still enjoy writing under the umbrella of supervision of me. SOOOOO, she wanted me to share her very first entry about her surrender to the Lord.....ENJOY THE MIND OF AN 8 YEAR OLD!!!! ( I left it just the way she wrote it...wrong punctuation and all :)...that was very hard for me to do...LOL)

How  I  got  saved

One night I was putting my pajamas on when I felt this person saying to me: Katelyn come to me come so that one day we can see each other. From the top of my head I knew that it was god calling me to get saved. So when that happened I ran straight out to mom and told her what god told me. And as a tear fell from my moms face she called my dad and told him what I had said as a tear fell down his face we talked about Jesus and what it means to be saved and how when we get saved that the holy spirit comes into our hearts and leads us. That night I was wondering if I where really going to heaven. That Easter Sunday I woke up joyful to know that I was going to get baptized by my very own daddy. That day me Katelyn Faith Kappes, age 5 was saved and going to heaven. But I did not know that just if you go under the water your going to heaven. After I got saved and baptized, I thought that I could still sin and be selfish because I thought that because I got baptized I would go to heaven so I thought that I was saved and ready to go. Well that’s not how its rolls. When you get saved the Holy Spirit comes into your heart. Then you do what God told us to do to worship him and serve others like going on mission trips. Because you serve others I have learned that being good does not mean that you are going to heaven. well you know that once you are saved you go to heaven. But I mean that some people think that they got baptized so there going to heaven so they can still sin. But when you get saved you stop that and change.