Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Lies Women Believe About Their MARRIAGE!!

1. I have to have a husband to be happy.
2. It is my responsibility to change my mate.
3. If I submit to my husband, I'll be miserable.
4. Sometimes divorce is better than staying in a bad marriage.

These are four of the six lies about our marriages that we believe and hang on to. Many times we see our marriage as a battlefield. We have to win and never surrender our rights. I have been married 11 years in July and we have had moments of despair and we have had moments of needing each other so desperately. Marriage is not a battlefield but a sanctuary. It is a place we got to for our safe haven and rest. Let's look at some of these lies that Nancy stresses.

#1: I have to have a husband to be happy. This is for all of my single friends who believe this lie until they find a husband. The Ultimate purpose of marriage is not to make us happy, but to glorify God. many times when women believe this lie, they settle for less than the best God has for them. This leads to a very unhappy marriage and total bondage. The TRUTH is that God has promised to give you everything you need and if He knows that a husband would make it possible for you to bring greater glory to Him, then He will provide a husband.

#2: It is my responsibility to change my mate. When a wife is preoccupied with trying to correct her husband's faults and flaws, she is taking responsibility God never intended her to have, and she will likely become frustrated and resentful toward her husband and maybe even towards God. Nancy talks about two powerful weapons that wives have that are far more effective. Weapon #1 is a godly life, which God often uses in a man's life to create conviction and spiritual hunger (I Peter 3:1-4). Weapon #2 is prayer. Whena  wife consistently points out things she wishes her husband would change, she is likely to make him defensive and resistant. When she takes her concerns to the Lord, she is appealing to a higher power to act in her husband's life, and it's a lot harder for a man to resist God than to resist a nagging wife!

#3: If I submit to my husband, I'll be miserable. Satan convinced Eve that if she submitted to God, she would be miserable and would miss out on something. From that day, Satan has done a masterful job of convincing women that submission is a narrow, negative, and confining concept. Here is the truth: The wife is not inferior to her husband, a husband is not permitted to be harsh or dictatorial to his wife,the wife is to provide input and express her opinions to her husband and the husband is not always right. We often look at those truth and think the opposite of them and that submission means that. When we place ourselves under the spiritual covering of the authorities God has placed in our lives, God protects us. On the other hand, we insist on having it our way and stepping out from under that covering and protection, we open ourselves up to influence and attack of the Enemy!!

#4: Sometimes divorce is better than staying in a bad marriage. God uses rough edges of each partner in a marriage to conform the other to the image of Christ. Your mate's weaknesses can become a tool in God's hand to make you into the woman He created you to be. Marriage is a lifelong covenant that is intended to reflect the covenant keeping heart of God ( Genesis 2:18-24). Marriage is hard and good marriages are even harder. I know that there are many people who have so many circumstances that make their marriage difficult. Letting God heal that marriage and praying daily for it to be strengthened and restored is the best choice. I also know that there are awful things that marriage partners do to each other that for many people is unforgivable. Jesus forgave us when we were unforgivable and so can't we forgive all the more. The true gospel leads us to a healthy marriage.

These are some of the lies about marriage that the book outlines. I realize that sometimes marriage can be a risky thing to discuss and talk about. I do not for one second think that there are not people out there that ended a marriage because of situations beyond their control. The biggest thing is to see marriage as a covenant between two people and that the covenant is a picture of our relationship with Jesus. I pray that each of you view your marriage as worth every fight and struggle. God wants for Christian marriages to glorify Him in every way. Be encouraged!!!

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Amazed

In between my Lies Women Believe posts I wanted to just give praise and honor to my Savior. I am amazed everyday of His unending and unfathomable love that he showers on me and my family. I don't say this because he gives me everything I want and everyday is wonderful and great. I say this because even in the midst of heartache or days that go so wrong, I am still loved, cherished and blessed more than I could even understand. Josh and I see God orchestrating and pulling together His plan for us and our family. We not only feel so loved right now but also humbled. Humbled that God would choose us, a bunch of glorious messes to honor and glorify Him. We are humbled that God knows us and all of our inadequacies and past failures and still chooses to use us to make the name of Jesus famous. We are so ordinary and plain. God is so big and powerful. I am overwhelmed by His goodness and provision but also His faithfulness and grace. I am so far from worthy but thank God I am forgiven and sharpened. God is worthy to be praised!!!

Sunday, February 19, 2012

I got slapped in the face!!!

Ok, so reading through some of my favorite blogs today, I GOT SLAPPED IN THE FACE!!! This blog is one that I read regularly about homeschooling and just being a mom in general. The post today got a hold of me and convicted the heck out of me. I am joyful inside most days but my face does not show it like it should through the day in and day out!! Here's the post, I thought I'd share:

the blog is icanteachmychild.com

“Mommy, I love you.”
“Thank you, Buddy.  I love you too!”
“Does that make you smile, Mommy?  When I tell you that I love you?”
“Yes, baby.  It makes me smile REALLY big.”

This was just a small sample of a conversation I had with my 4-year old while I was preparing lunch this past week.  It had been a long week with three straight days that we didn’t leave our house (or our pajamas) due to sickness…first Big Brother, then Little Brother.
Although this exchange seems extremely sweet and somewhat typical for a little boy and his Mama, it made me ask myself a question…
Do I really smile at my children during the day?  
Do I do it enough?
Of course I smile at them when they do something silly or when they tell me they love me.  Is that it, though?  Do I smile throughout the day to display the immense joy I feel inside of me?  Or is a scowl of irritation the more prominent facial expression these days?
Unfortunately, I think the answer is that I don’t smile nearly as much as I should….which is absolutely crazy for me because I am a ‘smiler’ by nature.  I love to smile!
They bring me SO MUCH joy and I need to reflect this joy in my face…even if I am a wee bit irritated at the thought of breaking up yet another fight.
So, I’m challenging myself to something (I know, I know…I am really bad at following through with these “challenges” I place on myself).
I am going to make a conscious effort to smile when I see my child(ren).  Whether that’s turning around and seeing him, seeing him when he wakes up in the morning, or even when he comes out of his room for the umpteenth time that night.  Sure, the smile might eventually be followed up with some discipline…but above all, I want our boys to know that they are loved.  And what better way to express that than to smile?
Obviously, it won’t go perfectly…just like nothing ever does when I am part of the equation.  I won’t remember to smile all the time, but even if I smile one or two more times than I normally do…it will be worth it!
“A happy heart makes the face cheerful…”  -Proverbs 15:13
Lord, help me to choose to have a happy heart and a happy face!
After all…
“Your day will go the way the corners of your mouth turn.”

Friday, February 17, 2012

Lies Women Believe About THEMSELVES!!

I wanted to write a few blog posts about a book that God used to change so much of me. Lies Women Believe is the name of the book and I am going to write about some of these lies. I started with the lies women believe about THEMSELVES first because every single woman has believed one of these lies and may still be believing them. So, here is a list of the lies we believe:
1. I'm not worth anything.
2. I need to learn to love myself.
3. I can't help the way I am.
4. I have my rights.

If we have an impoverished view of God, we will become impoverished ourselves. SO, lets look at #1,"I'm not worth anything". In many cases, these feelings of worthlessness are a result of believing things we have heard from others, especially in childhood. This is a problem because our view of ourselves and our sense of worth are often determined by the input and opinions of others. I remember times when I was young and people either assumed things about me or wanted to ruin anything good they saw in me. I could have carried this with me forever. In fact many women are. They may not come out and say it in this way, but they feel this daily. If you heard, " You're Fat" when you were little, a little girl could easily grow up in bondage to that lie and believe that only skinny girls are worth anything which could lead to an eating disorder or feeling unworthy if you could never get skinny enough. What we believe about ourselves determines how we live. If we believe and act on lies, we will end up in bondage.

#2: " I need to learn to love myself". I know all of us have said this at some point in time. Some women may even say that this isn't really a lie. This is a lie because we were created in God's image and He loves us and we are precious to him. We do not bestow that worth on ourselves. We also do not experience the fullness of God's love by telling ourselves how lovable we are. Jesus taught that it is in losing our lives that we find our lives. The message of self-love can put women on a lonely and miserable path.
#3: " I can't help the way I am". We like to blame others and circumstances when we make bad choices. We also just go with, " well, that's the way I am." Eve had no one and nothing outside of herself to blame for the issues she encountered in her marriage, her family, and her environment. Her problem began inside herself. She made a simple and personal choice. There was no one else to blame but herself. If we believe we are doomed to fail, to keep sinning, or to be unhappy, we will fail, we will keep on sinning, and we will always be unhappy, frustrated women.
#4: "I have my rights". This is probably the hardest one for everyone. We all think we have all these rights to do with whatever we choose. I am convinced that claiming rights has produced most of the unhappiness woman experience today. Here's the point: SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIPS AND HEALTHY CULTURES ARE NOT BUILT ON THE CLAIMING OF RIGHTS BUT ON THE YIELDING OF RIGHTS. Did you hear that??? Stop trying to claim what you think are your rights and yield, just like our Savior did!!!

These are just a few of the lies out of the book but they were the ones I thought were the most prevalent. So, here's the good part: THE TRUTH to combat these lies.

"I'm Not Worth Anything": My value is not determined by what others think of me or what I think of myself. My value is determined by how God views me. Psalm 139:1-18, Ephesians 1:3-8, I Peter 2:4
 "I Need To Learn To Love Myself": By faith I need to receive God's love for me. Galatians 2:20
"I Can't Help The Way I Am": If I am a child of God, I can choose to obey God. Romans 6:1-14. I am responsible for my own choices. Deuteronomy 30:19
"I Have My Rights":  Claiming rights will put me in bondage. Job 4:1,4,9; Psalm 37:1-11

So, there's a little taste of what this book is about and how life changing it could be. I am so excited to share more with you and tell you how it made a huge difference in my walk with the Lord. God has so much in store for women who are his daughters but we live in bondage to lies that he sent His Son to come and die for. Quit believing the lies that Satan tells you and live in victory and walk in TRUTH!!!! Be encouraged!!!!

                                                

Thursday, February 9, 2012

My little craftiness

Before I start writing about the Lies we believe, one Lie I believe a lot is that I am not creative enough. Well, I finished a project for Katelyn's room and I must say, I did good!! I got the idea off of Pinterest         ( LOVE PINTEREST!!!) I thought I'd show you some pictures...enjoy!!



Lies!!!

When Katelyn was a month old, Josh and I moved to Powhatan,VA. Josh became the Youth Pastor at Red Lane Baptist Church. Now that I look back, I think God had us there 3 years just for me. There were certain people that helped me get through the toughest time in my life and I am forever grateful. I met amazing friends and worked with some pretty awesome teenagers that are now adults.....ughhh, am I that old?? Anyway, I was immediately attracted to the amazing women's ministry there and became part of a Women's Bible Study on Monday mornings. I am telling you right now that if I would not have had that Bible Study to go to in that time in my life, I may not be who I am today. I was surrounded by godly and incredible women and moms. They spoke truth to me in a time that Satan was filling my mind with lies because of the depression that I was in. I looked forward to this time every week and God used it for me to meet a close friend, Christy who I still consider my mentor and example of a godly wife and mom. I say all of that to say that the first book we went through together was Lies Women Believe by Nancy Leigh Demoss and forwarded by Elisabeth Elliot. This book was what I needed at that time in my journey and I will always hold it as one of my favorite books because of all the words of scripture that set me free.

As I was thinking about this time in my life this week, I felt like I needed to share some of these lies with you and the truths that can set you free. If you can buy this book, BUY IT!!! Read it and devour the truth that scripture brings to you. This book is hard to read at times because it will step on your toes and it will have things you may not agree with. Women can tell me all day long that they are doing great and these lies do not pertain to them but that in and of itself is a lie. We all struggle and believe things we shouldn't. So, I am going to pick a Lie out of this book and write about it and the truth that you need to know. Let's get messy and real with each other. Stay tuned for Lie #1!!!!!!

Saturday, February 4, 2012

UPDATE!!!

Hey everybody!! I've gotten some e-mails from people that read my blog and want to know what's going on in the family right now so I thought I'd give an update! We are great!!! God is teaching us so much about faith, grace, provision, love, and being who we were created to be. Josh and I are beginning to see the beginning of His plans unfold and it is so exciting. As most of you know, we are church planting and looking at launching in the fall. In the last couple of months we have had 2 more families join our team and we are more than thrilled at the people He is calling to walk alongside us through this journey. Our team is growing and God gets all the glory. I had no idea 8 months ago that we would be where we are right now. Honestly, I would rather not be anywhere else.

We will start meeting with our team this week and it will become a weekly thing where we will pray and seek the face of God in obeying and doing His will. Providence Church has been an oasis for our family and I am more than thankful that God brought us to them last May. He knew the kind of people we needed in our lives to help grow us and love on us right where we were! Josh is doing school and learning so much about the kind of church Jesus preached about and still wants for His people today. We have been reading and learning so much about what being genuine looks like and how to spread the gospel the way Jesus did!!! Josh and I have been married for 10 and half years and we have been in ministry that entire time, even while we were engaged. I can say that this is the first time in our journey that I know God is calling us to something bigger than ourselves. This is something that we can't even come close to doing in our own power. We have to fully rely on God and His strength through us!!

The kids are wonderful. We have had some rough days because the crazy warm weather makes us want to spend time outside instead of in books and we took some days to combine the two.....schoolwork and sunshine in our backyard!!! Katelyn is growing in wisdom and I see each day the strings of heart being pulled to love Christ and others. She will go on her first mission trip in June and she is more than excited to take a soccer ball and play with the kids..hehe!! She has been asking a lot lately about how she knows if people are Christians so we have many discussions about judging and looking at what God says a Christian looks like. She is so beautiful and I see her becoming more and more what God created her to be. She's is my baby girl!!! Samuel is just as crazy as ever. He hasn't been screaming in his high pitch as much lately ...THANK GOD!!!! He is also growing in wisdom and seeing his sissy do everything and follows right behind her. This is a lesson for Katelyn to be the example she should be to her little brother. Samuel still loves Yo Gabba Gabba...ugh....and is now quoting Nacho Libre with his sissy and daddy(our house is full of spanish accents), if you haven't seen Nacho, go watch it and you'll know what I'm talking about! There are days when we are all snappy with each other and other days when we laugh a lot. That is normal house and we are just all trying to be all that God wants us to be. I am doing ok but this time of year is getting to me. My dad started getting sick at the end of this month so many memories are flooding my mind. I am sadder most days and I miss him like crazy! He was an amazing dad and I would not have wanted him any other way!! I am learning to see him as he is now, full of purity and free from pain, in his real home with Jesus! It is that picture that gets me through those rough times.

So, there ya go, our family in a nutshell. We are a glorious mess that God is teaching and growing each day. I am so excited and scared of what the next year holds but for now we are enjoying being together and learning what God's plans are. We are learning about true love and being real in our relationships. I hope that everyone will continue to lift us up in prayer and ask from time to time how we are!!! We love to talk about how good God is whether on good or bad days!!! I would love to hear from y'all and please let me pray for you. Let us know how we can serve you and lift you up as well!!!

Friday, February 3, 2012

Renewed Vision

This is a blog that I follow and get incredible encouragement from. On a day like today where I am cleaning poop out of a bathtub, mending a nose bleed, wondering how I'm gonna teach Katelyn math that I never understood, and missing my dad like never before, I needed to read this and realize that God has called me to a great thing, a BIG thing!!! Even when I am tired and feel unseen, HE sees me and renews my vision. I thought I would share her blog with you and even if you don't homeschool, there is still encouragement here...be encouraged!!


Renewed Vision

Some years ago, I suddenly realized that my 9 year old was not having trouble telling time – she just couldn’t see the clock!  We immediately took her to the eye Dr. where we found out that she badly needed glasses to help her vision.  The ride home from the doctor’s with her new glasses was a joy.  “Mom!  That truck says…”   “Mom, there are LEAVES on the trees!!!”  “Mom, do you see that sign???!!!”  “Mom, everything is so BRIGHT and COLORFUL!!!”  My daughter simply needed help with her vision to add new joy and excitement to the everyday things we often take for granted. 

I often need a new vision prescription myself this time of year.  There seems to be a  mysterious “disease” in the homeschool community that occurs for many moms in  January or February.  Symptoms include clouded vision and discouragement, with a temptation to sit alone on the couch all day with a good book and cup of tea as you wait for the school bus to arrive with hot cookies in the oven….     As moms look to the long weeks ahead, how “behind” we are from what our goals were at the beginning of the year, experience long, cold INDOOR days, the adjustment to school schedules – our eyes can become clouded and we can lose our vision.

Many years ago I wrote up this little worksheet for myself, and have since shared it with many.  It’s a little reminder to myself of why I homeschool and is well worth the time to sit down and reflect upon.  It tends to get my eyes back on what really matters, and clears up my cloudy vision.  I love homeschooling – even on the difficult days – for it is a gift of grace from the Lord to be able to train up my children in every area of their life. So like my daughter with her new glasses,  renewed vision can add joy and excitement to the everyday things we often take for granted!

Feel free to print out this page and prayerfully fill it in with the purposes God has given you in homeschooling your children… and enjoy the joy it brings to remember His purpose and plan!


My Purpose & Vision for Homeschooling:

Why have I chosen to educate my children at home?
    The Biblical Principles of home education:
1.  God gives instructions to parents to teach their children about Him.

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.  These commandments that I give you today, are to be upon your hearts.  Impress them on your children.  Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” Deut. 6:5-7

“Bring them [your children] up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Eph. 6:4

Also see Deut. 4:9

my thoughts:


2.   God wants what is godly and right to be taught to our children.

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge.” Proverbs 1:7

           "in whom [Jesus Christ] are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.” Col. 2:3

“But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night.” Ps. 1:2

“…be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Romans 12:2

“Set your mind on things above, not on earthly things.” Col 3:2

Also see 2 Cor. 10:5, Luke 6:40, Matt 22:37-38

my thoughts:

               
3.     God does not want what is ungodly or evil to be taught to our children.
           “Do not be conformed any longer to the pattern of this world…” Romans 12:2

“See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ.” Col 2:8

Also see Jer. 10:2, 2 Tim 3:7


my thoughts: 

The advantages of homeschooling:

a.     Spiritual


b.      Character


c.      Academic



d.     Social



e.      Family



f.      Other



What do I want my child to be like when he/she has completed his/her formal education?
Luke 2:52 says, “And Jesus grew in wisdom and in stature, and in favor with God and men.” 

 When your child has grown to maturity, what do you desire to see as fruit in their lives?
            Mentally (in wisdom):


        Physically (in stature):


        Spiritually (in favor with God, through Jesus Christ):


        Socially (in favor with men):



How do I build a homeschool that will honor God and accomplish his purposes in my child and my family?

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Fear

I am a fearful person. I am not fearful to the point of not going places or letting it upset my life, but I do fear. The thing is, I fear more as I get older. I think it is because I see this world and just wonder what it will be like when my kids are adults(if we are all here). I look at our government and wonder when it will finally do our country in. I have to vote for a new President this year and I am just not a huge fan of any of the candidates. I see how much more cruel our world is when it comes to unborn children and people who are different than the society around them. I was faced with the reality of death almost a year ago with the passing of my father and seeing that I am not guaranteed" health, wealth, and prosperity." This all scares me. It all makes me fearful if I give it a lot of thought. There are some days when fear could overwhelm me but then I remember: this world is not my home. Why can I wake in the morning and praise the Lord when the world around me is crazy.....because this world is not my home. Why can I see death and feel at peace...because this world is not my home. Why can I raise my children to be godly instead of good....because this world is not my home. More than anything, how do I get through times when I feel like an outcast, forgotten, uncomfortable, sad, misunderstood, threatened, and anxious?????? BECAUSE THIS WORLD IS NOT MY HOME!!!! There will come a day when I will be in the home that I was meant for. The home where I will sit and worship my Creator forever. Until then, I must not fear because I serve a God who walks with me everywhere I go and is in control of everything. Even with all the uncertainty around us, we can walk in peace and assurance because our real home is not here, it is to come!