Reflections!

I have decided that in order to get out of the funk I have been in, I need to remember the past year I have had. I am one blessed woman and no matter how hard the holidays are for me, I need joy! This past year has had many up's and down's and I thought I'd share some reflections I have had:

1. My husband is the most faithful, loyal, gifted, loving, and amazing hubby, father, and pastor. I have seen this man grow so much in this past year. I have seen him walk through trials and come out praising Jesus. I have seen him love on people more than anyone has ever loved them. I have seen him joyfully lay himself down for others. He is doing what he has been called to do and I have never seen him happier. I really don't know how I got him but I am so thankful he looked my way almost 12 years ago!

2. My kids rock my world. They challenge me to the core and I am thankful for that. I would not really understand the love of God had I not had them. I have seen them learn alongside each other and Josh and I. I have seen them fight, embrace, forgive, and grow. I have seen them imagine, explore, and search. I have seen them hurt when a friend hurts and Katelyn weep for the children in Newtown. I have seen Katelyn fall more in love with horses and riding and Samuel sing louder and drum harder to Jesus worshipping songs. I have heard them play together so peacefully and have times of misunderstandings more than I care to remember. I have no desire to be anywhere except here with them each and everyday. My heart longs to hold them and disciple them each second even on the not so good days. They are my treasure, my arrows, asking to be sharpened and sent out into this world for Jesus.

3. Words only go so far. Josh and I have walked with people through some tough stuff. We could have all the greatest words in the world, but walking with them changes things. Loving them when they have given up, become the worst of themselves, and been beaten down by those around them is what they long for. We have learned to love like Christ loves. My sin is forgiven and God sees me as righteous. Why would I not do the same for someone else? Jesus spent more time with those who the religious people forgot. He walked with them and spoke truth in love whether they wanted to hear it or not. I have learned that this is the call of Christ: loving people when they are on the mountain and even more when they are in the dessert.

4. I am impatient and easily overwhelmed  I thought I'd throw this in there because this year, I have learned this more than I cared to. I already knew this about myself but God actually broke me down teaching me to turn to Him in these weaknesses. He sees me, the good and the bad, and He loves me anyway. I am not superwoman who can do it all. If there is too much on my plate, I can crack. I have learned this year to only take on what I can and do not feel bad when I have to say no. If anything interrupts my first callings as wife and mom, then I will not do it. I have learned that we all have different things that God calls us to do and we have to realize those things in light of God's calling for every Christian. There are days when I wish I could do more, be more, endure more, but at the end of the day, I am blessed by what God allows me to do.

5. Church planting is no joke. Josh and I were so excited to move into the call God had for us but I never knew how much satan would attack us personally and those who have been involved. He wants nothing more than to thwart anything God had planned. We have been through the ringer but we count it all JOY!!!! WE LOVE GLC. We have loved getting to know so many people in our community and being a part of something bigger. We love having so many people in our home and so many kids running around. Gospel Life has been a breath of fresh air and in 12 years of ministry, we finally understand why we have walked where we have. God prepared us for this church and we are extremely blessed to be here! I miss it when we aren't there and can't wait to see the people in our lifegroup through the week. What a fun time we are having!!!


There are many more reflections but these were the big ones. 2012 will end and I have no idea what is in store for 2013. I know that God will continue to teach, guide, direct, mold and move us for His glory and His alone!!!

Self

But none of these things move me; nor do I count my life dear to myself, so that I may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God. (Acts 20:24)

My reading this morning was this verse. This is a morning where I woke up with a sore body from lifting heavy things yesterday and having a bed that's 12 years old. My first thought was, I need a massage. I mean, when is the last time I had one? It has been way to long. This is a morning where I don't feel like teaching and just want to dance around the kitchen all morning. This is a morning where I have been thinking about why my house isn't selling because we need a better house. I know, I know, can you say SELF-CENTERED!!! Not that those things are inherently bad but if that is all that has consumed my mind this morning, I have only been thinking of myself and what I want for the last hour. Then, I sit down at my stained (by painting sessions with my kids) and handed down kitchen table and wonder if I'll ever have furniture that was not owned by someone else before me? I opened up my laptop, which annoys me because a key is missing and half the time it doesn't function the way it should. I go to my reading and this verse is what I study. Funny how God already knew how I would wake up this morning. The part of the verse that struck me was ," nor do I count my life dear to myself." Paul writes that in order to finish the race with JOY and the ministry that He has for me is to not count my life as my own. There are things God has called me to and that is how I share the gospel of grace with my life. How can I do that if all I think about is myself and how I somehow deserve better than I already have. As soon as I read this verse and studied meanings of it, I was convicted and set at peace all at the same time. Convicted that I was selfish the moment I woke up and at peace because the things I mentioned above are blessings I do not deserve.If all we do is dance around the kitchen this morning, than that is a memory that will stay in my kids minds forever and that is better than any type of curriculum we do today. My house is perfect and everything we NEED and if it never sells, then it is the house that should be our HOME. My kitchen table has so many stains, chips in the wood and splatters of paint because my kids sit around it while we learn and talk together EVERYDAY. I have a laptop, that's all that needs to be said. God has things for me to do and I must do those things with JOY so as to finish the race with an obedient heart. I am so blessed that even in the midst of this kind of thinking, God loves me and shows me grace once again. Thank goodness He sees my heart and immediately put things back into perspective before I go too long through my day in that kind of selfish thinking. If I never have anything or any type of pleasure, I must finish the race with JOY because all that I need is Jesus. Thank you God for choosing to bless me even when I lose my mind every now and then. 

Homemade Advent

I have always wanted a Christmas Advent calendar. I wanted the really cool ones with boxes that pull out and all that. Once I saw the prices for them, I immediately went to Pinterest to find a homemade version of what I liked. I found several but I didn't want to spend any money. I wanted to use things I already had but wanted it to be super cute and fit our family. SOOO.....the kids and I got working today on making our very first Advent Calendar. I thought I'd share how it all turned out. Here's how cute it is:

It was exactly what I wanted and fits us just right: not perfect but perfect to us. I started out by finding an old chalkboard in the garage and painted the frame part brown and put a cream color all over the chalkboard part to help the colored cards stand out. These were paints I already had.

Then I moved on to making the string for cards to hang on with clothespins and also had the kids paint the clothespins the same brown as the frame. The string I used was string Katelyn had with some of her jewelry making things and I just tied them onto thumbtacks to make my "little clothesline".

The kids loved helping paint the clothespins. I had clothespins left over from a project we did awhile ago so I just pulled those out.

 Then we got our cards cut out and began decorating each one. I used to scrapbook a lot so I have a ton of paper, die cuts, stickers, etc. They ended up looking very cute and I also have cool cutting tools so it made them nice and even.

After the cards for each day were all decorated I made little activities we would do on that day to go under each one. This was the fun part because I got to think of cool things we could do and also got some ideas from the list off the blog that I was following for this. Here are some of the things we'll be doing:

THAT'S IT!!! Once I got those done, we hung each one with a clothespin and this very cute and fun Advent Calendar cost me NOTHING!!! I am so excited to start tomorrow and even more excited to start this as a family tradition each year!

Here's the Blog I pulled our ideas from:
http://www.thriftyandthriving.com/2012/11/christmas-countdown-advent-activity-calendar-homemade-holiday-2012/

Update!

Many people have asked for an update of Gospel Life and how the church plant is going so I thought I'd do one blog for all of you to read. GLC is going great! We actually are doing so well that we are waiting for something to happen...funny how we do that! When I say it is going well, I don't mean we have a lot of people coming(which we've been surprised by the amount) or that we are a perfect church. We are all imperfect people just following God's call and letting Him handle the rest. When I say it is going great I mean that we have seen God show up on Sunday's, during Lifegroups, in new friendships, having lunch with people, and even in phone calls and texts. He has reached down and blessed GLC and we are so excited. My husband almost jumped up on a chair one Sunday because he was excited about the word the Lord had given him. We have had people confess to past addictions and how they are now being healed and renewed by the Lord. We have had people tell their story of a past abortion and how it affects them now but how God is healing and restoring them. They are walking in truth instead of lies from Satan and God is using them like crazy because of their courage and humility! We have had people say they don't have to be "plastic" here and that they are forgiven and can be redeemed. We have been and are still walking through some dark times with people but that's what a family does. We were asked by the City of Newton to help with their Lighting of The Tree downtown this past weekend because of our willingness to embrace what they are already doing in the community. We could easily plan and do our own things but why not be a part of what is already happening and bless the community we live in? We have been able to share in Movies in The Park this past summer, Spooktacular, and now The Christmas Tree Lighting. We love that they want us there and what better way to invest into your community and get outside the walls of our building. We are already supporting our first missionary couple and a young man who is a missionary in the army. We have met some pretty great people and love that we are seeing the people that were once visitors, volunteering and being a part of what we are doing! GLC's core team is a group of amazing, selfless, strong, and godly people. They are willing to do anything to make GLC be everything God wants it to be. We are so excited about all the things God has in store for us and more than anything, WE WANT TO SEE PEOPLE CHANGED. We live in a very religious community. We want to see people have a relationship with Jesus that requires surrender and repentance not just a talk about Him. God has been so good to us and we are not worthy of any of it. He has shown us what church really looks like and what people in our community really seek. I have heard many people say that they feel that they are part of a family here at GLC and we love that! Even more, we want people to feel they are a part of family before they may even believe. The last 20 months have been uplifting, freeing, difficult, challenging, scary, eye opening, and unimaginable. I love this community and I love the people that God has allowed us to get to know and walk through life with. We are thankful for the support and love that has been all over us. We are thankful for Providence church in Denver that had a vision and is now seeing it come to pass. We are thankful that even when it gets rough, and it will, that our God never leaves us or forsakes us. We are thankful that even in our mess and imperfections, God is using us greatly! Thanks to the many people that have asked how things are going and have prayed for us earnestly. Keep it coming!!!

Why I Am So Thankful!

I love the thankfulness that is spread during this year. I really want to be more thankful each day not just around Thanksgiving and Christmas. My thankfulness started back in May with one diagnosis. Many people know my story of miscarriage after miscarriage before Samuel and we never got an answer for why those were happening. God BLESSED us with Samuel and we were so thankful to have two amazing kids. I loved that I had a super smart and talented tomboy in my sweet Katelyn Faith and a VERY loud and CRAZY little boy in my snugly Samuel. I was at peace with how things had turned out and I knew that as Romans says, " All things work together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purposes." Even though hard days were behind us, we knew God had a plan and we were thankful for it even without having any answers. May 2012 came and I was having some physical problems. After many tests, biopsies, ultrasounds, and blood work, doctors found that I had a condition which would require a hysterectomy. I was scared, sad, and confused. My first question was, "Could this have been what caused all those miscarriages?" My doctor said, " I think so." So my second question was, " Then how did I have Samuel?" Her response will forever stay in my head. She said," I have no idea how you carried him?" A doctor who is intelligent and knows everything there is to know about these issues says to me, " I DON'T KNOW!" I immediately knew the answer and it was that my Savior has intervened and caused my body to carry a SON and allowed him and I to be healthy. I was in awe for days that after 5 years, we had received our answer. I could not believe that my God, in his timing, made all things good. So today, this year, I am thankful for my two incredible children. I am thankful that I get to train and disciple them everyday. I am thankful that even when we walk with no answers, God is still at work. I am thankful that my dad got to meet and love on both my kids before he passed. I am thankful that I am a mommy and that my kids, even though make me very tired, are the lights of my life. Thank you Jesus that I am such a blessed woman.

" Uninsured"

I know this will freak a lot of people out but we have been "uninsured" for 18 months. Oh.My.Word!!!! When I tell people that their normal question is, " What if something happens?" or " What if you have to have surgery or there's something serious going on?" When Josh told me 18 months ago that we were going to drop our health insurance because it was too expensive and it was just getting worse, I was not on board. I think the woman in me likes the security of knowing there is something in place in case something really awful happened. I didn't really worry about Josh and I, but the kids. I wanted to make sure that they would always be safe and have any medical attention they would need. Josh had prayed about this and I knew that in order to let my man lead like the way he is called to, I needed to trust that God was directing him in the best way to lead our family. So, we joined a Christian Co-op called Samaritan's Ministries. It is a Biblical, non-insurance approach to health care needs. What that means is that every student, single, or family pays in to it monthly and our money goes straight to a family or person that has medical bills. It is an awesome feeling to send a check every month to a person and not a mutil-billion dollar company with high paid CEO's and money going who knows where. We have loved having this ministry and I thought I would share how great it is and even some pictures.

I just had surgery....YES, surgery while "uninsured". It went smoothly and now I am beginning to get my gifts from people all over the world to help carry the burden of my bills. My total cost of appointments, surgery, hospital stay, and post-op was $28,000. If I had insurance, I would be paying a deductible and 20%. With Samaritan's, the most I will pay for the whole thing is $250.00 and I may even come out paying $0. Having my needs met by other Christians that are all striving to carry each others burdens as the Bible talks about is great but the best part of it all is this:

 I get cards, letters, poems, and scripture that come with every gift. This is a picture of a sweet note that was sent to me from another family in Christ from WI.

This lady wrote a poem while she was going through some tough physical issues and she shared it with me. When you have been through a surgery and then for a month straight you get things like this in the mail EVERYDAY, you are uplifted!!! 

I wanted to share Samaritan's Ministries with all my friends because I have been amazed at what happens when the family of God comes together to meet the needs of each other. I have been blessed immensely by people I don't even know. I have seen Jesus in many of these notes, letters, and cards and even read personal testimonies. I also have been able to encourage as I send my gift each month and even been able to share victories in my life that someone from across the world needed to hear. I love this ministry and wanted to tell how great they are! 

If you are interested and would like to know more here is a link to their website. 

http://www.samaritanministries.org/ 

Treading Water!

There are days when I feel like I'm treading water. I have days when all is well and calm and other days when it's all I can do but pray for God's grace and wisdom. Today, I thought I was on top of it but then realized, the water was rising. I started our day of homeschooling off by sharing with Katelyn a verse that I felt God had given me to share with her. It was Proverbs 4:23," Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life." We talked about what that meant and asked why she thought mommy and daddy talk to her a lot about her heart. We talked about it and she understood that many of mommy and daddy's decisions about what we do and what we don't let her do are because we have been entrusted by God to train her, teach her, and especially because we want to help her guard her heart and teach her what that means. I got some blocks out and we talked about the foundation that was holding all the blocks up. If that foundation was weak, the rest of the blocks could not stand on it, it would crumble under the weight. I told her that we want to help her build a foundation on the Gospel so that as she grows and is ready to face this world, she has a strong base to make Jesus famous with her life. Josh and I have always been careful to tell our kids why we decide something and the reasons we feel God is calling us to do it. We never want to just give them law with no reason or promise from God to back it up. I felt like we accomplished so much before we even opened the textbooks for the day. We could have stopped right there because she had learned more in those 45 minutes than any school book could ever give her. Nonetheless, we pressed on. While on break for lunch, I heard a conversation on a little show she was watching on Netflix. I told her that I really didn't like what they were talking about and that I would rather her not watch that show(they were talking about dating and boys and my opinion on that is a whole different post:) Immediately, she went into,"I'm nine but think I'm 16 mode." SHEESH!!!! I simply reminded her of what we talked about earlier and that what she puts in her heart can determine many things: her worldview, her opinions, who she lives for, and even her future. She continued to tell me that she just "liked" the show and that she wasn't listening to that part.....HAHAHAHHAHA!!!! I remember saying those exact same words as a child: PAYBACK! Anyway, I had to walk out of the room for a minute and then we talked more about why I decided that. She still was not happy. How is it possible that after having the discussion we had earlier, she would react in that way? I thought for sure I would get a," You're right mom. My heart is so important and I need to guard it from what is contrary to God's word. Thank you for teaching me and helping me understand all of this," and then we could hug and have  a wonderful rest of the day. It was more like treading water. 

As Katelyn gets older, I know that this will get harder. I know that she will be tempted to be and do everything everyone else is doing. I know that she will question so many things but I am not sure I'm ready for it at 9. As God always does, He taught me through this treading water episode. I DO THE SAME THING. God loves me more than anyone else could. I have a Savior who wants to teach me and train me and help me guard my heart but I whine and question even though I know what He promises. I want to have "momentary pleasure" because I'm human and imperfect. WOW, does God show us our own weaknesses through our kids or what?? What a picture I got today of how I treat God's commands when He simply wants to keep me safe, help me guard my heart, and ultimately make Jesus famous with my life. 

For the Mom!!

I do a lot of reading on thegospelcoalition.com website. I love the articles that draw me in to search and study the scriptures and my faith. I came across this letter that I just had to share. It could be for any mom really, stay at home or working, but as a SAHM, it was something I needed to hear today. I thought it was refreshing and uplifting for ALL moms and I wanted to share it with all of you. I pray that each of you walk away encouraged and loved. I pray that it meets you where you are and shows you the grace of the Savior and way he sees you in the day in and day out...ENJOY!!

Jenna

Dear Stay-At-Home Mom…

Dear Stay-at-Home Mom,

You are a gift of God to your husband and your kids.

But you don’t always feel that way, do you?

There’s a low-level feeling of guilt that creeps into your heart from time to time. Sometimes it bubbles over into tears, usually on lonely, difficult days.

You scan blogs and read books about being a good mom. You find some helpful tidbits here and there, often from women who are grandmothers now. Women you can learn from but who seem to have forgotten the struggle. They seem to have it all together.

In your heart, you want to be the kind of mom who trains up kids to make a difference for the kingdom. You know it’s an honor to be entrusted with these kids. You know you’ve only got one shot. You want to be the mom who teaches them the Bible, models how to pray, and trains them up in the fear of the Lord.

But most of the time you feel like you’re barely holding it all together.

Your house cleaning can’t keep up with your kids’ mess-making.

The kids embarrass you by acting up right when your guests arrive.

Your husband doesn’t get just how worn out you are by the end of the day.

You come to the end of your patience. You lose your temper. Then you feel worse.

The last thing you consider yourself to be is a “good mom.” And you think to yourself, It’ll be a miracle if my kids turn out okay.

And – surprisingly – that’s right where God wants to meet you. The place where you admit your powerlessness and your need for Him.

It’s only by God’s grace that any kid grows up to be a force for the kingdom.

You see, there are no perfect kids and no perfect mothers. No matter what you read in blogs, see in magazines, and learn in books. There are sinful kids and sinful moms and dads.

And the only thing greater than both is the grace of God. The God who says “there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” The God who loves to forgive, to transform, and empower.

God loves you – not because you are a good mother but just because you are His precious child.

God loves you – not because you’ve mastered all the skills of parenting but because He has.

It’s divine grace that will transform your parenting – not guilt.

It’s grace that will keep you going and serving and scrubbing when you’re exhausted and worn out.

It’s grace that will conquer your feelings of inadequacy and remind you of God’s love for you in Christ.

It’s grace that goes for the heart of your kids, not just their behavior.

God has demonstrated the fullness of His love for you through the cross of His Son, even while you were still a sinner.

He has promised you His presence.

He has spoken His approval over you in Christ.

He is the perfect Father who delights in you as a daughter.

Find in Him your Treasure and Joy. Be to others what He is to you.

So walk in freedom. Let Him hold you together when everything seems to be falling apart.

Bask in His unfailing love for you. And rest in His promise of power.

While Mom is Down...

I have been DOWN for the count for 2 weeks now and I HATED IT!! Being with kids 24/7, you always say to yourself, " I wish I could just get a day to myself." Well, a day is nice but being confined to sitting and laying for 2 weeks is just over the top. Especially when you like control, giving up everything to someone else for 2 weeks is really hard. So while I was recovering from surgery, I learned a few things:

1. The dust on the shelves WILL NOT kill anyone. I watched the shelves on our bookcase, media center, dressers, etc just build up while I sat. I had moments when I wanted to go and just clean it all up. Then, I would hear from a friend or my family that if you push it, you will set yourself back in recovering. AHHHH!!! I have made it to my third week and the dust that was driving me crazy has not really changed my family or how we live each day.

2. My kids can do a lot more for themselves than I thought. I watched my nine year old work around our house like she was the mom on some days. My three year old didn't have to be carried around all day and when going in and out of stores (which I do because I think he's still a baby-HA!). I watched them share their toys better and even get their own snacks and drinks. Once I wasn't available to do a lot for them, they showed me that they have been keeping a secret from me: THEY ARE CAPABLE OF SO MUCH MORE!

3. My husband can run the show without my input. Josh spent two weeks running the home. He not only worked at his job (which he had to miss some), prepared for sermons, did ministry, had meetings, prepared for church each Sunday, and kept up with his studying but he also lugged kids to and from soccer, did laundry, cleaned(in his own way LOL), took care of me day and night, played with the kids, kept up with where and when each child had somewhere to be, took care of a sick child, and still managed to look handsome through it all. He didn't need to know how I did it or my input, he just did it. We had some help from his mom and mine but ultimately, so much fell on him and I just don't think there's anything sexier than that...just sayin'!!

I am one blessed woman to know that when I need to be the one taken care of and looked after, that I have wonderful people in my life to do just that. I had meals brought, babysitting offered and done, prayers, balloons, flowers, and encouragement from so many that have been where I am. I am so thankful and overwhelmed at how God carries me through when I don't have the strength. It is great to know that while mom is down, those who love her will step in and get the job done.

To My Sweet Girl!

Since I am home after surgery recovering and basically DOING NOTHING, I am relying on others and even on my sweet girl to handle things for me. She is 9 and can run this house better than me. She tells me when I should nap and to remember that the doctor said you have to take it easy. There used to be days 2 years ago that I would see the Big Yellow School Bus come through the neighborhood and I'd think, " Wow, what am I doing?" or " I wonder if we can work out a deal and they could just let my kids ride around for a couple of hours."(don't judge:) Now, I see the bus and think, " I am so glad we are in this together and I am blessed to be called to this life. I am so happy." I was thinking about how Katelyn is growing so fast and how I started this blog to have it to show my kids when they get older and that they can find strength and encouragement from it.  So here it is: A Letter To My Sweet Girl!

Katelyn,

I LOVE YOU!!! When you were very small, you gave us a run for our money. You are strong-willed, full of energy and wonder, our animal, music, and sports loving tomboy, and our sweet angel. I am so proud of the little woman I see growing in you and I am honored that God gave you to me. There are days when we barely make it through but I wouldn't change a thing. You make me smile A LOT and bring joy to our world. I pray that God uses you greatly to further His Kingdom and that He becomes so real to you as the years go by. Your dad and I have seen you grow and change and wish we could keep you like this forever. I know that you have an amazing future ahead of you. You want to be a missionary, a Veterinarian, a musician, a Horse farmer, a photographer, a MOM, and even a soccer player. I don't know which one will be what God calls you to but I know that you will be great at any of them (you already are). Thank you for teaching me more than I've taught you and thank you for loving me and forgiving me when I mess up and let you down. Thank you for taking such good care of me when I am down and for your hugs and kisses when I need them the most. Thank you for having a giving spirit for others and for desiring to change this world for Jesus. Thank you for being who you are no matter if others get it or not and thank you for not caring what others think. You amaze me with your faith, genuine spirit, love, and STYLE!!! I love you more than you will ever know and I am so glad God let me be your mom. I can't wait to continue this life with you and see God transform your life. You have my heart and you always will, no matter what!

Love,
Mommy

True Love!!

There are so many people in the world who have never known a love like mine. My first ever love is Christ. There is no love like the love He has for me. When it comes to men, my father was my first love. He was gracious, kind, funny, loving, forgiving, and patient. As I grew, I prayed I would find a man like him to spend the rest of my life with. I spent time with many who were good but none compared to the true love that I have now in my husband. He is perfect for me and meets me where I am weak. As a young woman I thought love was what the movies made it out to be. As I grew, I realized that love was from God and it was created for me to experience Him in it. Love was made to glorify God and I have husband who does just that.

Love is not long walks on beaches: it is watching me birth two children and telling me I'm still the sexiest woman alive. Love is not butterflies in my stomach: it is holding me when I don't understand the depression that is overtaking my mind. Love is not getting along all the time: it is fighting through difficulty and coming out on the other side stronger and closer. Love is not having everything we want: it is pushing through the hard times and seeing the blessing that is our life. Love is not quitting when there's failure: it is loving the other person knowing that I too am imperfect and could fail at any point. Love is not selfish: it is holding me when the first man I ever loved met Jesus. Love is not good health: it is when a catheter has to be emptied in the middle of the night or you need your hand held when the doctor tells you it's another miscarriage. Love is beyond limits of time and it is all for God's glory so that in the love I feel here, I see Jesus. The way I love and am loved here on earth is a picture of the love my Savior gives me everyday. I pray that each of you will have a husband like mine, a husband who is a picture of true love and devotion, not only in the good, but also in the REALLY BAD!! Thank you Josh for pulling me through(especially this week) every step of the way. You love me more than I deserve and see me better than I am!!!

We're Finally Here!

Well, we're finally here. We are 4 days away from Gospel Life Church's launch Sunday. We have toiled, prayed, sacrificed, laughed, cried, planned, and fasted. Our team has grown very close and the love we share is truly an example of what Gospel Life will be like. We seek to love God and love others all in the name of our Savior and Lord. This will be a crazy weekend and I am sure there will be bumps and situations that will arise as Satan seeks to stop Gospel Life from sharing the love of Christ with Newton-Conover. As the first Sunday arrives, I ask that my friends pray for us, the church, and the people who will come. I ask that you pray for our vision to stay focused and in line with God's will. I ask you to pray that my husband stays focused on the words God wants him to preach and that hearts are ready to hear them. I ask that you pray for salvation for those who do not know true gospel but religious traditions. I ask that you pray for those who may have never heard about the Almighty Savior who loves them.

If you get a chance, check out our website and join us if you are looking for a family and a HOME. If not, check us out anyway. The whole team is not on the page yet but will be added very soon. Thanks for all of you who have prayed for us the last 18 months. Thanks to Providence Church for seeing God's plan for Gospel Life and for loving my husband and me so much when we needed it more than ever. Here's the link for Gospel Life Church!!!!

gospellifenc.com

To The Hurting Woman

This past week I have been out and seen so many women that look tired and worn. I don't mean just everyday tired, I mean the woman who has been battered by life. I can see it in how she carries herself or how she continues to make one bad life choice after another. Her body is worn and her hair is normally thrown up and or tossed all over. She has skin that looks ten years older than she really is and her eyes are black underneath and sunken in. Those are the outward things I see that do not make me judge but wonder if anyone ever told her that she could be so much more. I wonder if anyone ever told her about the Savior that wants to wrap her in His arms and show her the amazing love she has never felt. I wonder if anyone has ever taught her that she could have a life that is not free of pain but full of grace and peace. I wonder if anyone has told her that she was intimately and perfectly created in the womb to become everything God made her to be.

My heart aches for this woman because I know she has a void in her heart that can only be filled with the love of her Creator. She continues to fill it with addictions, men, bad friendships, and the world. Those things leave her EMPTY, TIRED, and even BATTERED. They continue to use her up and leave her without hope. So as I have seen this woman over and over and even women who I have known here is my letter to you:

Dear Battered Woman,

YOU ARE LOVED! There are so many things that you have turned to in life that you thought would make you feel loved and accepted. Satan has tricked you into thinking that this is it, this is the life you were dealt so why live any other way. You may have come from a home that was broken and you saw addiction, abuse, and constant hate and anger. You may have come from a great home and because of some bad decisions, you are too tired to make good ones. Everyone has made bad decisions but Jesus meets you in that moment and wants to restore and save you. He created you for so much more than you ever thought you could be. He is your Savior: not alcohol or drugs, not men, not self-help books or good deeds, not food, and not even your family. HE WANTS TO SAVE YOU FROM IT ALL. That's why He died, to save you from the evil one who seeks to kill and destroy you anyway he can (I Peter 5:8). I want you to know that there is so much more He has for you than settling into a life that leaves you battered and hurting. He created you for more than being some man's punching bag. He created you for more than an addiction. He created you for more than thinking you have to show your body in order to gain love or feel accepted. He created you for more than a life without HIM in it. You are so precious to Him and to me. I hurt for you and know that if someone just told you how an amazing Savior seeks to change you life, maybe you would have a different life now. Life with Christ is not free of pain and  it is a life of sacrifice but it is lived with Him who knows how many hairs are on your head
(Matthew 10:30) and who prepares a place for you in heaven (I Cor 2:9). Precious woman, please know that you are more than you ever thought and you are loved more than you could ever imagine. Let your past be the past and move on to a life you had no idea could be for you. Jesus welcomes you, accepts you NOW, and will ROCK YOUR WORLD! Hand this life over to Him in exchange for a life that glorifies Him and a life full of love, grace, mercy and forgiveness!

Jenna

Confessions of a Youth Pastor's Wife

Now that I am officially no longer a youth pastor's wife but a church planters wife, I thought I'd share some secrets. I was a youth pastor's wife for 10 years. We had great times, bad times, low times, exciting times, and sad times. That will bring me to my first confession:

#1: The saddest time was leaving teenagers. We were in three churches and each time we had to say goodbye to the teenagers, it was quite excruciating. That was the worst part of leaving and starting a new calling God had for us. Everything within you wants to take every teenager with you to your next adventure. I always had this excitement in me because I knew God had something else for us but the other part of me would be more sad than I can explain. I had many teenagers that I saw amazing potential in and that challenged me more than I did them. Leaving those sweet faces was most definitely the hardest part of youth ministry.

#2: We talked about you. HEHE!!! Really, we did. We would talk about how great a student was doing or how desperate they were for something real in their lives. We talked about how we could make them feel more loved and accepted. We talked about how we couldn't believe how they took the gospel to their schools with no hesitation. We also talked about the select few who drove us nuts and what we could do to see them in a new way:) They were also prayed for more than anyone knows.

#3: LOCK-INS ARE FROM THE DEVIL!! Seriously, who came up with the idea to lock 20-30 teenagers in a gym and feed them nothing but junk food, candy and soda all night long? As if that's not bad enough, adults who get stuck dealing with that madness ALL NIGHT LONG!!!! I hated them and as most of the teenagers who knew me knows: I DIDN'T GO TO THEM UNLESS I HAD TO! I love sleep and I love peace and quiet and lock-ins don't quite fit in that category. Josh and I stopped doing them by our third year in youth ministry...hint, hint to any youth pastors out there....DON'T DO IT!!!

#4: Out of town youth trips were not a vacation. I remember seeing a clip from skit guys about a pastor who asked a youth pastor is he had a good vacation while on a ski trip with the youth group. I laugh hysterically every time I see it because leading a trip with 50 teenagers OUT OF TOWN is NOT a vacation. Do we see God do amazing things? YES!! Do we have a blast getting to know new teenagers?YES!! Did we know that the students learn spiritual truth at many of these things? YES!! On the flip side of that, are we stressed out that you may break your leg skiing down the mountain? YES!! Are we praying that we will get at least 2 hours of sleep the whole weekend? YES!! Do we miss our kids that we left behind? YES!! Are we scared that you'll do something stupid that we'll have to tell your parents about later?YES!! I have great memories on trips with youth and many that I will never forget but man are those things stressful.

#5: We truly love each teenager. There is no doubt that teenagers can drive anyone crazy but we loved each one that crossed our paths. I saw something great in every single one of them and am now seeing God do some amazing things in many of their lives as adults (yes, I'm that old). I have gotten phone calls about how things I have said changed the course of their lives forever. I have also gotten phone calls that have devastated Josh and I and brought us to tears. In all of it, we have loved so many teenagers and seen great works of the Lord in so many. Josh and I have 2 children but I feel like we have hundreds more. They have stretched me, broke me, moved me, challenged me, encouraged me, and loved me and for that I am forever changed.

So, those are my top 5 confessions. There are many more but some may not be very nice and some would incriminate so many...HEHE!! I am blessed to have been a youth pastor's wife even in the hard times. As we are on a new journey, AGAIN, I love looking back at where God has had us. To every teenager that has crossed our paths, WE LOVE YOU, YOU HAVE BEEN COVERED IN PRAYER, and YOU HAVE CHANGED US IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER!! :)

Crazy Times!!!

I think I enjoy making myself go crazy. We started school 2 weeks ago so we are in the books and learning. Now, let all the other things of life happen!!!Katelyn starts soccer games September 8 and 9, Gospel Life launch Sunday is September 9, I have a surgery that will have me out for who knows how long on September 10..... oh, and throw in homeschool co-op, piano lessons, and horse camp. As if that all is not keeping us busy, I decide, " Hey, let's put our house on the market, no big deal." AHHH!!!! What in the world was I thinking? As I sit hear preparing for it all and making sure all my ducks are in row so I can hand over the reigns to someone else while I heal, I can't believe how blessed I am. I look at all the things my children get to experience and be involved in. I look at the way God has called us to plant a church and that we get to be a part of something big like that. I look at the fact that I escaped possible disease because a doctor caught something early enough. I look at our home that has been great for us for the last 6 and half years. I look at a husband who loves me unconditionally and loves our marriage more than himself. I look at it all and the craziness that it all brings and I AM BLESSED!!! In the quiet moments and in the loud moments, I know that God has me right here, for right now, for a purpose. There are days when the chaos takes over and I think that I need some french fries and a coke desperately to make it through...hehe, that is what I crave when all is crazy!!! Then I have moments like today as I plan it all out, God shows me the blessing that it all is and the good that is in it all. I am thankful and overwhelmed that He showed me this today and I wanted to share it with y'all. I know that many of us have seasons like these where we have a lot going on and we can easily see it as stressful but today, let it show you how blessed you are. If there are some things that need to go, let them go. If there are some things that need to stay, give your 100% at those things. I hope that you will be encouraged and uplifted that God can step in at a moment of crazy and give you a different perspective.

My Dad's Heart in My Daughter!

Today was a good day. After Katelyn and I finished school, we needed to stop by our local hardware store. I, of course, love to look at the paint and tools to see what all I could use to make some cool stuff. Not long after we got there, I lost my daughter. I turned around and she wasn't there. As I rounded the corner, I see her looking inside some glass cases with eyes of excitement and wonder. Most girls would get those kind of eyes when looking at some cute shoes or some really pretty jewelry. NOT MY GIRL!!!! She was looking at pocket knives. These weren't just little pocket knives that wouldn't even cut paper. These pocket knives were the real deal. We are talking $100 real deal. As I walked over she looked up at me and said," Mom, do you see these? I could stand here and look at these all day." At that moment, I almost cried. Part of me saw in her all the things that my dad and her loved and talked about together when he was here. She would follow him around the yard and put a dirty rag in her back pocket just like him. He would show her all his knives and she would look at them like they were gold. The other part of me realized that my dad left a piece of his heart in Katelyn. All those times she hung out with him and learned about motors, carving, tools, and even pocket knives are the times that have shaped her into who she is. I watched her take one knife from the clerk and hold it gently and look at it like it was piece of art. She just kept saying, " Pawpaw would love this one." The whole ride to pick up her brother she talked about those knives and even remembered what they were named. She talked about how cool it would be to go to a knife show and see all the really cool ones that people have. She talked about saving her money and going back and getting the one she really liked. She talked about that Pawpaw loved going to those gun and knife shows and that she would be in heaven if she could go to one. I held back tears as I listened to her go on and on. As sad as it makes me that those times with her pawpaw have been cut short, I was given a glimpse by the Lord that my dad's heart is still in Katelyn. He left a piece of himself in her and she will always remember him and the way they were so much alike. I saw my dad today in my daughter's eyes and I heard him in her voice. I saw him looking at pocket knives in wonder and I heard him talking about how much fun those shows are. I felt him next to me pointing out all the pieces of the knife even though it was my daughter's hand holding it. Today was a good day because I realized that my dad's heart will always be with Katelyn and with me.

Holding a New Hand

Gospel Life has been meeting on Sunday nights since about March in our home and in another team members home. We have been blessed with an amazing Core Team to launch Gospel Life. The last few months we have opened up our Sunday nights to guests as well. We've had a few here and there but tonight was a little different. We had a family come that had contacted Josh last weekend about what the church stood for and how he could get his family there. This is a broken family wanting to find life in Jesus alongside other believers which is our heart as Gospel Life. It was so refreshing to meet new people in our community and for them to come in and feel loved and wanted. As we sat and began our time together, I was sitting beside one of the daughters that was part of this family. She was so cute and you could tell she has a sweet little spirit. As we began to pray to start our singing time, she reaches over and takes my hand. At first, I thought she had a question but as I looked over at her she had her head down and eyes closed. I wondered if she just wanted to hold my hand as a gesture. I wondered if that was just something she was used to. As Josh prayed she just held my hand tighter and tighter. I had only known this sweet little girl for maybe an hour and she reaches to take my hand so gently and sweetly.

We were there to bless them. We were there to show the love of Christ. We were there to help them see Jesus in us. This little girl became all those thing to me. She blessed me, she gave me a picture of how Jesus loves me, and she helped me see Jesus. In a very quiet moment, she just wanted to hold my hand. She barely knew me but wanted to be that close to me. I wish I was that vulnerable. I wish I had thought to hold her hand first. I wish I could be that gentle and loving with someone I just met. I had a very short but intimate moment that God has used to show me how he very personally and faithfully holds my hand. Through it all, He reaches over to me and out to me. I pray that I have many more moments like these as we meet people in our community. I pray that I will take the hand of people that just want to know someone is there, next to them. I pray that I can hold many more new hands and we can walk together finding life in Jesus!

When a Boy Wants His Daddy!

WOW!!! What a day with my son!!! My sweet Samuel was not so sweet today. He was not very nice to his friend who visited us today, he refused to nap after countless attempts at discipline on my part, he did a lot of screaming and throwing toys, and he looked at me with those big blue eyes like he could care less what I was saying. Days like these make me want to lose my mind. Experts say,  "Make sure you use your calm voice with your children." Doctors say, " speak to them on their level." Gentle moms say," just love on them and cuddle all day long." SERIOUSLY, I tried all of that today and then it turned into a battle with a three year old. I heard my self saying a lot of "wait until your dad gets home, I should call him right now." Go ahead, act like you have never said that to your children a time or two. I try not to say that but today was way over my ability to mumble those words. I mean really, what was his problem? WELL, daddy opened the door to a crying Samuel sitting in his high chair facing the back door so that all he could see was his daddy when he walked in the door. Of course, his daddy very calmly said, " Why are you sitting in here Samuel? Why have you not been listening to mommy all day?" In a very quiet whisper and sweet voice Samuel said, "cause I wanted you to come home." WHAT????? How does a three year old put all that together? How does he figure out that mommy said she's going to call daddy to come home if I keep acting up so I'll keep acting up because I want to see my daddy that much? I was in shock and could not believe that everything we went through all day was because he really wanted to see his daddy. So, my husband, being the incredible man that he is, says, " I'm going to wake up early and hang out with the kids all morning before I go to work each day."

We have been learning lately that many, if not all, of our kid's "not so great behaviors" has something to do with us. They want out attention, they miss us, they want one on one time with us, they want us to be silly and laugh with them, they react the way they see us react, they imitate our facial expressions when things don't go their way, and so much more! Being a mom is hard work. It is hard to know that your children will have bad days and that you will be the punching bag for that day. As a mom of young children, I encourage each of us: working moms, stay-at-home moms. and single moms to look at our selves, our own behaviors and reactions to make sure we are not teaching this behavior to our children. I also encourage each of you to see your children as little sinners that are in need of a Savior just like us. They are in need of grace and mercy and to feel the love of their Creator within the gentleness of our arms. I am still in awe that all Samuel wanted was his daddy. Maybe Monday I'll tell him that if he listens and has a happy heart, daddy will come home....hehe!!! ( a girl can try)

Our Differences!!!

Josh and I will be married 11 years tomorrow. Each year I am astounded that we have been married this long because it has flown by. I was thinking today about how Josh and I are so different. Josh is laid back; I am not so much:). Josh is a night person and comes alive after 5. I could go to bed at 8 and would rather be in my pajamas by 5 every night. Josh could be surrounded with a lot of people every second of the day and love it. I love being around a lot of people for a certain amount of time and then I need some alone time. Josh could eat cereal with an ice cream scooper so he doesn't have to wash dishes. I go crazy if a few dishes are in the sink and I have to get them out of there. Josh sees something and has no idea what to do with it. I see something and can vision what all it could be with the right paint or decor. Josh says "crick", I say "creek." Josh could eat only meat for the rest of his life; I could eat only vegetables the rest of mine. If Josh could, he'd wear a t-shirt and gym shorts everyday. I end up wearing that but love to dress up when going out. Josh has no desire for tools or dirt. I love fixing things and actually would rather have tools for a gift rather than flowers or jewelry. Josh is the "fun" one; I am the "get it done" one. Josh could talk about theology ALL DAY LONG. I also love to talk about it but I get to a point where it wears me out. Josh doesn't worry about much; I worry about a lot. Josh is extremely intelligent: I am extremely, uh, creative (hehe).

There are so many other differences between us and the list could go on for awhile. The great thing is that with our differences we make a pretty good team. We both love Jesus and want to serve Him, we both have a desire to see people follow Jesus with all or their heart, we both love playing sports and fishing, we both love eating out and having time with our friends, we both see our role as parents as the biggest calling we have been given, we both love our families and all the ways we have been blessed by them, and we both can't wait to spend another 50 years together. Happy Anniversary to my sweet man and best friend!!! GO TEAM KAPPES!!!!

A Storm

As I write, it is storming outside. As soon as the sun hides behind clouds and I hear a faint thunder, I immediately begin to feel calm. I am not exactly sure why this happens to me but I love when it storms. Now, I don't mean when it storms in a way that my house shakes and my power goes out not to turn back on for days. A summer storm or even a whole day of rain and some rumblings make me feel less anxious and at peace. I was thinking about this as the storm started this afternoon. Many people hate rain and are scared of storms but it has this weird effect on me to bring me to a place of quiet in my soul. So, I wonder, why do I not feel this way when the storms of life come my way? Where is the peace when everything around me is thundering and raining in? Maybe because storms that calm me are outside. I am able to look at them from inside a safe and dry home. I can crawl in my bed and stay warm and watch the rain come down to help our grass and trees grow. When I am walking through life's storms, I'M IN THEM. I am smack dab right in the middle of thunder and rain. I feel the rumbling all over me and am soaked by the rain that seems like it will never stop. I stand there and take beating after beating of heavy downpours and shake from feeling cold and helpless. But why don't I just walk where it is safe and dry? Why don't I walk into my safe haven where I feel at peace and calm? Why don't I rest in the arms of my Savior while the storm rages and wait it out there? I am asking myself these questions today because I don't know why I flounder in the storm, trying to handle it on my own rather than seeking the face of Jesus every second I'm in it. I want so badly for the storms of life to go away never to return but I really should just be praying that God be glorified in the midst of them. I should be asking God to make the storm I'm walking through show the people around me just how great and BIG He is! So, as I watch the storm outside today, I rest where it is dry and safe reminded that I also have a safe haven in my Father who holds me close in the shelter of His arms.

Pray for My Husband!!

I saw an article from a friend that I just have to share. Many of you ask me how you can pray for Josh and I during these months of church planting and ongoing prayer as the church starts. Well, I want you to pray for my husband. This has not been an easy road to travel and he has had some weeks of weariness that comes with doing this. I am so proud of this amazing man of mine and I already see God pruning and preparing him for what's to come. So, here's an article from thegospelcoalition.com about how to pray for a pastor and I hope that this is how you can pray for Josh.

About nine years ago, I developed the following list of prayer requests that I gave to every willing hand. I haven’t passed them out in at least four years, but I decided to resurrect them. Why? I need prayer…badly! And so does your pastor. As leaders in the church, we have unique and often more intense temptations (“Strike the shepherd and the sheep will scatter”). So will you consider praying for your pastor the way I ask my people to pray for me?

1. That the gospel would be the focal point of my life and identity – not manhood, not being a husband, not being a father, not being a pastor, but who I am in Christ.
2. That I would not fear man by desiring the admiration of people; that the Lord’s “Well done” would be ever before my eyes.
3. That the Lord would not allow me to go long between repentances; that I would keep short accounts with Him and be sensitive to and ruthless with my sin.

4. That I would continue to grow in the character qualities of a man of God (1 Tim. 3:1-7; 2 Tim. 2:22-26; Titus 1:5-9).

5. That I would have a consistent, powerful, diligent life of private prayer; that I would grow in my dependence on the Holy Spirit.

6. That the Lord would give me great diligence in study and sermon preparation, making the most of my time.

7. That my preaching and teaching ministry would be empowered by the Holy Spirit; that the Lord would effect real change in our lives through it; and that by it we would be more endeared to Christ.

8. That I would boldly and faithfully and humbly and joyfully and intentionally share the gospel with the non-Christians in my social orbit.

9. That I would see Jesus as supremely valuable, my greatest treasure, and as my dear friend.

Thanks guys!!!!!!!

My miracle!!!

Today, my sweet Samuel turns 3. I am in awe at how fast these three years have flown by. I have seen him change so much and seen more of his personality. He has certain things he's laid back about and then other things that bring out a spitfire in him. He is definitely a homebody and loves his daddy so much. He still loves playing drums and it is almost an obsession. He came into our lives after three miscarriages and we have recently been told once again that he is quite a miracle. Samuel has a tender heart when people are hurt and have "boo boo's." He is deathly afraid of the Chick-Fil-A cow and Chuckie Cheese. He wants absolutely nothing to do with any type of over-sized creature or anything that makes very loud noises. It amazes me how scared he is of loud things when he is the loudest child I have ever seen and can scream like no one I have ever heard. He loves his sister and wants to follow her everywhere she goes. We are in the days of him trying to see what he can get away with and test authorities but we know that God has amazing plans for his life. I can't wait to see how he glorifies God with his life and I am so happy to be his mommy. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET SAMUEL!!!!

Your Are The Best!!!

We are out of town this week in PA. I have always wondered why I seem to have children that while they are little, traveling is so hard for them. Katelyn is now older and does fine but I remember when she was 2 and 3. Now, Samuel is almost three and is giving me a hard time here in PA. I have been quite frustrated and out of sorts as well. Then, a friend of mine shared a song that I know I was suppose to hear. I admit, if you share a song on your facebook, I don't listen to it. I just don't because I'm on and then off quickly and usually have no idea what the song is. For some reason I listened to this one. OH MY WORD!!!! Can you say tears and encouragement?! I know a lot of mommies of little one's read my blog and I thought what a great way to give you that encouragement you need to keep pressing on. Our children are the best song we could ever write!!!! I love my babies!!! Enjoy this song!!!

Been Quiet!!

I have been very quiet for awhile by not blogging as often as I usually do. I really don't know why but I've had no desire to write (which is very out of character for me. I always have a lot to say:) Anyway, today as I was reading some favorite blogs I follow, a picture spoke to me and I felt like it was a perfect description of how I've felt for the last few months.

Do you ever feel this way? I have felt like the world was on my shoulders for so many reasons. Many reasons may not seem that big to other people but to me they have become overwhelming. Many reasons like health diagnosis, finances, child-rearing, and insecurity start the list of what goes on in my mind all day long. I know as women, we have thoughts going through our brains constantly and not just one thought but thousands, ALL AT THE SAME TIME. I have always wondered why God made us that way. I have even told my husband that if I could change brains with him for one day I would feel so rested (not a dig at my husbands brain. He is beyond smarter than me. Men just don't have all those thoughts all day long, every second, all at the same time...it's scientific...don't be mad, just the messenger...lol). Because of this constant thought process, the picture above is a perfect view into my brain lately. I know that God is in control and He is constantly battling me for control of my life. As I have prayed and sought after Him I have begun to see the things in me that are sinful and the things that make me feel like this big world is right on my shoulders. I am writing today to encourage you if you are also in this place or have been in it lately. We can't be used greatly for God's kingdom when we allow the world to sit on us in this way. We have to deal with the things that bring us to this place and thrive in this life God has given us. He is beyond our understanding and He teaches us daily by the circumstances in our lives. I have no doubt that He is using each circumstance I am experiencing in order to refine me and make me new. I am so thankful for this refining process even though it is painful and heavy. He is always good and always promises to make me more like Him. I pray for release of some things and that I can begin to see my life like this instead:

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.

2 Corinthians 3:17

Nervous!!

I have had several things making me nervous this week. The first is that I have a biopsy on Thursday and I am very nervous about it. I think it will come back fine and then I can proceed to have a procedure that is needed, I just hate anything like this. I hate knowing I will feel pain and I hate knowing that I am not in control at all, which is a whole other issue. The second thing is that my husband informed me that when he met with a NC state representative for church planting she said to him," You do know that you are church planting in the hardest area in the state?" WHAT??? ok, this makes me nervous. As they talked they went on to understand why and we already knew most of the reasons. There is a lot of religious traditions here in this area. I think that this kind of stuff is the worst of all to try and reach people. The reason why is because many people you talk to think they are okay because that is what they grew up learning and believing. They may have never truly heard sound gospel and what it really means. It's much easier to tell someone about the gospel who knows they need it rather than someone who has heard it all their life and it means nothing to them and has never really changed their life. This is a huge thing for our church and we are taking on the challenge. Not because we think as imperfect humans we have anything to offer but because God has so much He wants the people of this county to understand and He chose to use us, as Paul says,"the chief of sinners."

I have always been prone to worry and fear in my life and as I have grown in the Lord, He has helped through a journey of total surrender to Him. It is hard for someone who likes control to just hand over the details of their lives to God. As I have gotten older, I have begun to see that God is faithful and he promises to never leave me or forsake me. So, as I walk around nervous, He still walks beside me whispering all those promises to me and I have moments of peace. I ask for prayer from all of my friends in these two areas and that you would remember us as we walk this journey.

Another Father's Day

I can't believe this is the second Father's Day without my dad. I still miss him the same and wish I could have had him longer. I know that he would be so proud of Josh for planting a church and "helping  people find Jesus," as he would say. I wish he could be here for all of it and all the awesome years that God is going to walk with us. I still celebrate you dad!! I love you dad and will see you soon.