Reflections!

I have decided that in order to get out of the funk I have been in, I need to remember the past year I have had. I am one blessed woman and no matter how hard the holidays are for me, I need joy! This past year has had many up's and down's and I thought I'd share some reflections I have had:

1. My husband is the most faithful, loyal, gifted, loving, and amazing hubby, father, and pastor. I have seen this man grow so much in this past year. I have seen him walk through trials and come out praising Jesus. I have seen him love on people more than anyone has ever loved them. I have seen him joyfully lay himself down for others. He is doing what he has been called to do and I have never seen him happier. I really don't know how I got him but I am so thankful he looked my way almost 12 years ago!

2. My kids rock my world. They challenge me to the core and I am thankful for that. I would not really understand the love of God had I not had them. I have seen them learn alongside each other and Josh and I. I have seen them fight, embrace, forgive, and grow. I have seen them imagine, explore, and search. I have seen them hurt when a friend hurts and Katelyn weep for the children in Newtown. I have seen Katelyn fall more in love with horses and riding and Samuel sing louder and drum harder to Jesus worshipping songs. I have heard them play together so peacefully and have times of misunderstandings more than I care to remember. I have no desire to be anywhere except here with them each and everyday. My heart longs to hold them and disciple them each second even on the not so good days. They are my treasure, my arrows, asking to be sharpened and sent out into this world for Jesus.

3. Words only go so far. Josh and I have walked with people through some tough stuff. We could have all the greatest words in the world, but walking with them changes things. Loving them when they have given up, become the worst of themselves, and been beaten down by those around them is what they long for. We have learned to love like Christ loves. My sin is forgiven and God sees me as righteous. Why would I not do the same for someone else? Jesus spent more time with those who the religious people forgot. He walked with them and spoke truth in love whether they wanted to hear it or not. I have learned that this is the call of Christ: loving people when they are on the mountain and even more when they are in the dessert.

4. I am impatient and easily overwhelmed  I thought I'd throw this in there because this year, I have learned this more than I cared to. I already knew this about myself but God actually broke me down teaching me to turn to Him in these weaknesses. He sees me, the good and the bad, and He loves me anyway. I am not superwoman who can do it all. If there is too much on my plate, I can crack. I have learned this year to only take on what I can and do not feel bad when I have to say no. If anything interrupts my first callings as wife and mom, then I will not do it. I have learned that we all have different things that God calls us to do and we have to realize those things in light of God's calling for every Christian. There are days when I wish I could do more, be more, endure more, but at the end of the day, I am blessed by what God allows me to do.

5. Church planting is no joke. Josh and I were so excited to move into the call God had for us but I never knew how much satan would attack us personally and those who have been involved. He wants nothing more than to thwart anything God had planned. We have been through the ringer but we count it all JOY!!!! WE LOVE GLC. We have loved getting to know so many people in our community and being a part of something bigger. We love having so many people in our home and so many kids running around. Gospel Life has been a breath of fresh air and in 12 years of ministry, we finally understand why we have walked where we have. God prepared us for this church and we are extremely blessed to be here! I miss it when we aren't there and can't wait to see the people in our lifegroup through the week. What a fun time we are having!!!


There are many more reflections but these were the big ones. 2012 will end and I have no idea what is in store for 2013. I know that God will continue to teach, guide, direct, mold and move us for His glory and His alone!!!

Self

But none of these things move me; nor do I count my life dear to myself, so that I may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God. (Acts 20:24)

My reading this morning was this verse. This is a morning where I woke up with a sore body from lifting heavy things yesterday and having a bed that's 12 years old. My first thought was, I need a massage. I mean, when is the last time I had one? It has been way to long. This is a morning where I don't feel like teaching and just want to dance around the kitchen all morning. This is a morning where I have been thinking about why my house isn't selling because we need a better house. I know, I know, can you say SELF-CENTERED!!! Not that those things are inherently bad but if that is all that has consumed my mind this morning, I have only been thinking of myself and what I want for the last hour. Then, I sit down at my stained (by painting sessions with my kids) and handed down kitchen table and wonder if I'll ever have furniture that was not owned by someone else before me? I opened up my laptop, which annoys me because a key is missing and half the time it doesn't function the way it should. I go to my reading and this verse is what I study. Funny how God already knew how I would wake up this morning. The part of the verse that struck me was ," nor do I count my life dear to myself." Paul writes that in order to finish the race with JOY and the ministry that He has for me is to not count my life as my own. There are things God has called me to and that is how I share the gospel of grace with my life. How can I do that if all I think about is myself and how I somehow deserve better than I already have. As soon as I read this verse and studied meanings of it, I was convicted and set at peace all at the same time. Convicted that I was selfish the moment I woke up and at peace because the things I mentioned above are blessings I do not deserve.If all we do is dance around the kitchen this morning, than that is a memory that will stay in my kids minds forever and that is better than any type of curriculum we do today. My house is perfect and everything we NEED and if it never sells, then it is the house that should be our HOME. My kitchen table has so many stains, chips in the wood and splatters of paint because my kids sit around it while we learn and talk together EVERYDAY. I have a laptop, that's all that needs to be said. God has things for me to do and I must do those things with JOY so as to finish the race with an obedient heart. I am so blessed that even in the midst of this kind of thinking, God loves me and shows me grace once again. Thank goodness He sees my heart and immediately put things back into perspective before I go too long through my day in that kind of selfish thinking. If I never have anything or any type of pleasure, I must finish the race with JOY because all that I need is Jesus. Thank you God for choosing to bless me even when I lose my mind every now and then.