Weary

I have to be honest: I am weary. It is that kind of weary that is down in your bones. Weary spiritually, mentally, physically and emotionally. I am at a point of hitting a wall every day. It is becoming frustrating because I hate feeling this way and I have way to much to do to be in this place. Days like these make me long for heaven and the beauty that will engulf me there. I know that Satan wants nothing more than to destroy me. He is more than ready to pounce on me, my family, and my home. Today, I was kinda angry. Angry that my emotions and circumstances can so overtake me on low days. Angry that my dad isn't here. Angry that things and relationships change. Angry that I can't be stronger. Angry that I let Satan win somedays.

As I have gone through the day, I have tried to offer up a quick, emotionless prayer hoping that God would just break through. I want Him to pick me up and take me to the mountaintop. I am SO DONE in this valley!! Then, the Holy Spirit quietly and peacefully assured me to remember Job. At the very beginning of Job, we see God and Satan wrestling with their words. We see Satan assuring God that the only reason Job serves Him is because everything has gone great for him. Satan wants to just give Job some difficulties to prove that in the midst of trouble, he would not stay faithful to God. As I thought about Job, one word came to mind: Sovereign. Satan could do nothing to Job without it going through the grace filled filter of God. God still made the rules. God still said what could happen and what could not. As I go through a weary season and I am not sure how long it will last or how hard it will get, I have to trust that God is Sovereign. Anything that comes my way has passed through His hands first. Whether I need to grow or change, He is my potter and I the clay. Molding is painful and can take awhile but I am still in His hands through the whole process. Thanks for letting me be honest and real today. I pray that you who are in the midst of weary days will be encouraged by the picture of God's sovereign grace that we see in Job.