Treading Water!

There are days when I feel like I'm treading water. I have days when all is well and calm and other days when it's all I can do but pray for God's grace and wisdom. Today, I thought I was on top of it but then realized, the water was rising. I started our day of homeschooling off by sharing with Katelyn a verse that I felt God had given me to share with her. It was Proverbs 4:23," Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life." We talked about what that meant and asked why she thought mommy and daddy talk to her a lot about her heart. We talked about it and she understood that many of mommy and daddy's decisions about what we do and what we don't let her do are because we have been entrusted by God to train her, teach her, and especially because we want to help her guard her heart and teach her what that means. I got some blocks out and we talked about the foundation that was holding all the blocks up. If that foundation was weak, the rest of the blocks could not stand on it, it would crumble under the weight. I told her that we want to help her build a foundation on the Gospel so that as she grows and is ready to face this world, she has a strong base to make Jesus famous with her life. Josh and I have always been careful to tell our kids why we decide something and the reasons we feel God is calling us to do it. We never want to just give them law with no reason or promise from God to back it up. I felt like we accomplished so much before we even opened the textbooks for the day. We could have stopped right there because she had learned more in those 45 minutes than any school book could ever give her. Nonetheless, we pressed on. While on break for lunch, I heard a conversation on a little show she was watching on Netflix. I told her that I really didn't like what they were talking about and that I would rather her not watch that show(they were talking about dating and boys and my opinion on that is a whole different post:) Immediately, she went into,"I'm nine but think I'm 16 mode." SHEESH!!!! I simply reminded her of what we talked about earlier and that what she puts in her heart can determine many things: her worldview, her opinions, who she lives for, and even her future. She continued to tell me that she just "liked" the show and that she wasn't listening to that part.....HAHAHAHHAHA!!!! I remember saying those exact same words as a child: PAYBACK! Anyway, I had to walk out of the room for a minute and then we talked more about why I decided that. She still was not happy. How is it possible that after having the discussion we had earlier, she would react in that way? I thought for sure I would get a," You're right mom. My heart is so important and I need to guard it from what is contrary to God's word. Thank you for teaching me and helping me understand all of this," and then we could hug and have  a wonderful rest of the day. It was more like treading water. 

As Katelyn gets older, I know that this will get harder. I know that she will be tempted to be and do everything everyone else is doing. I know that she will question so many things but I am not sure I'm ready for it at 9. As God always does, He taught me through this treading water episode. I DO THE SAME THING. God loves me more than anyone else could. I have a Savior who wants to teach me and train me and help me guard my heart but I whine and question even though I know what He promises. I want to have "momentary pleasure" because I'm human and imperfect. WOW, does God show us our own weaknesses through our kids or what?? What a picture I got today of how I treat God's commands when He simply wants to keep me safe, help me guard my heart, and ultimately make Jesus famous with my life.