On Thursday, I will have been married 10 years to an amazing Man of God. As I think about the day we married, I had no idea we would have been through what we have. I remember as I was putting on my princess wedding dress and freshening up my makeup, all I could think about was all the fun we'd have. I was so excited to get to wake up to someone for the rest of my life. More than anything, I couldn't wait to soar through life with this man and create our family and all of our dreams come true.
Well, as you can see, I may have been living in la-la land that day. I mean, we had pre-marital counseling. We were told marriage wasn't easy and that there would be hard times. In my head I knew that but in my heart I was so in love with `this incredible man, that couldn't imagine everything not being PERFECT!!!
Now, after 10 years, I can say that marriage has been hard (especially after having children). I can also say, I HAVE LOVED EVERY MINUTE!!!! I married the man God had for me and we fit perfectly. Where I am weak, he is strong and vice versa. To some people, 10 years doesn't seem very long, and to some, it may seem forever away. These 10 years have flown. So, I have a list of things we have gone through in just 10 years of marriage.
1. We have moved 3 times and served in 3 churches.
2. We have had 2 children and have 3 babies in heaven.
3. I have lost me Father and Josh has lost an amazing aunt and grandmother.
4. We've watched friends marry and have babies and even now have nieces.
5. We have been blessed my three amazing youth groups full of teenagers we will never forget and leaders that will always be our friends.
6. We have been on countless trips to PA, SC, FL, Missouri, NY, VA, GA, Africa. Most were mission trips and some were visiting family or taking youth to camps.
7. We have seen and been able to lead many to Christ.
8. Josh and I have seen our daughter surrender her life to the Lord.
9. I have seen Josh catch our yard on fire. ( I had to throw that in there babe :))
10. We have been on roller coaster rides with life and have seen God carry us through time and time again.
That is just a list of some things. I am more than blessed with the life that God has given me. Josh and I are not perfect but our marriage is more important to us than our own rights. I love him with every ounce of my being and could not imagine life without him. I pray for him daily to be the leader of our home and to follow Christ wherever He leads. Josh has grown more than I could ever have imagined. I love him more now than I ever thought was possible. So, as I think back 10 years ago, and remember that day, all I can really think is WOW, I HAD NO IDEA HOW MUCH FUN WE'D HAVE!!!!!! I love you Josh and can't wait to see what else God has in store for us. MY CUP RUNNETH OVER!!!!
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Thursday, July 21, 2011
My son Samuel Lucas
Well, yesterday i wrote about how awesome my daughter is. Now, I am sitting here watching Samuel eat a bagel and yell at the top of his lungs every word he knows because that's just what he does. We are continually blessed by this little man. For those who don't know our story, here it is:
When Katelyn was three we started trying to have another baby. I had extreme Post Partum depression with Katelyn so we were really scared. We got pregnant right away and something went wrong. I ended up miscarrying and having to have surgery. A couple months later, we were pregnant again. After 8 weeks, I miscarried for a second time. The doctors continued to tell me having 2 was ok. There was nothing wrong with me. A couple months later, I was pregnant for the 4th time in my life. And again, at 9 weeks, we lost another blessing. At this point, doctors were concerned at having 3 miscarriages in a such a short amount of time. They ran lots of tests and did ultrasounds and everything came back perfectly fine. They had no answers for us and we asked " why?" I WAS DONE!!!! I sold everything from Katelyn's old crib to everything baby I had leftover. I just knew we would have only one child and I was ok with that. Right after our third miscarriage, Josh went to Africa to preach in the jails. When he got home, he told me about a Christian government official he met. This man was over the jails in his city. He told Josh about the trouble him and his wife had having babies. He said they cried out and God gave them a son and they named him Samuel which means: The Lord has heard my cry! And then this man told Josh if we would cry out to the Lord, He will give us a son and we will name him Samuel. Well, my heart was so broken, I didn't care what anyone said, I WAS DONE!! That Sunday, a sweet lady came to me at church and told me she had been praying for a year that we would have another child. I was blown away. Just what was God thinking? Josh continued to pray for me and after many months of healing , I said "ok, we'll try, but this is it." Of course, I had no problem getting pregnant. 8 weeks came and went. 12 weeks came and went. 20 weeks came, and time to find out the sex. We already knew it was a boy, but what the heck. So, here we were, baby healthy, momma healthy, and it is a BOY!!!! I wasn't keen on the name Samuel, but God affirmed through lots of things that this was to be his name. So, we now have Samuel Lucas Kappes and I am so happy we didn't stop trying. Here is what God blessed us with.
1. Samuel is full of energy and has the goofiest sense of humor like his daddy.
2. He loves to sing and play drums. Drums can be anywhere. Chinese restaurant with chop sticks and even down to forks on a table for the whole restaurant to hear. He also loves air guitar at all times. Dancing comes along with all of it.
3. He loves to be outside but not in the sun. He is not a fan.
3. I love his sweet smile, blonde hair, and blue eyes. He is a spitting image of his father.
4. He talks all the time, clear as day. His older sister may have had something to do with that.
5. His fits consist of him just laying on the floor rolling around quietly or screaming at the top of his lungs for all to hear.
6. Right now, everything is the color Blue. It must be his favorite.
7. He loves to hug and say sorry when he offends other little people.
8. When we say time for night night, his response it, " I watch cartoons 5 minutes."
8. HE LOVES MILK!!!!
9. Samuel is not our dare devil. He will not just jump on something or slide right down. He is deathly afraid of Chuckie Cheese and the Chic-Fil-A Cow. His favorite thing to say in those situations is, " It scare you."
10. When he knows he is going to get in trouble, his famous quote is, " I funny, I so funny." That comes with a big huge smile and it makes it very hard to discipline him.
11. I love this little boy with all my heart. I can't believe that I almost gave up and this little boy was just waiting for us. I know that he will do great things and become the Man of God that God has created him to be. He makes us laugh constantly and his smile will melt your heart.
I am blessed with these amazing kids and God has so much in store for them. Even though it is very hard most days to be a stay at home mom, I WOULDN'T TRADE IT FOR THE WORLD. I love seeing them learn and grow and I know that God has called me to a great work: Raising Disciples!!!!!
When Katelyn was three we started trying to have another baby. I had extreme Post Partum depression with Katelyn so we were really scared. We got pregnant right away and something went wrong. I ended up miscarrying and having to have surgery. A couple months later, we were pregnant again. After 8 weeks, I miscarried for a second time. The doctors continued to tell me having 2 was ok. There was nothing wrong with me. A couple months later, I was pregnant for the 4th time in my life. And again, at 9 weeks, we lost another blessing. At this point, doctors were concerned at having 3 miscarriages in a such a short amount of time. They ran lots of tests and did ultrasounds and everything came back perfectly fine. They had no answers for us and we asked " why?" I WAS DONE!!!! I sold everything from Katelyn's old crib to everything baby I had leftover. I just knew we would have only one child and I was ok with that. Right after our third miscarriage, Josh went to Africa to preach in the jails. When he got home, he told me about a Christian government official he met. This man was over the jails in his city. He told Josh about the trouble him and his wife had having babies. He said they cried out and God gave them a son and they named him Samuel which means: The Lord has heard my cry! And then this man told Josh if we would cry out to the Lord, He will give us a son and we will name him Samuel. Well, my heart was so broken, I didn't care what anyone said, I WAS DONE!! That Sunday, a sweet lady came to me at church and told me she had been praying for a year that we would have another child. I was blown away. Just what was God thinking? Josh continued to pray for me and after many months of healing , I said "ok, we'll try, but this is it." Of course, I had no problem getting pregnant. 8 weeks came and went. 12 weeks came and went. 20 weeks came, and time to find out the sex. We already knew it was a boy, but what the heck. So, here we were, baby healthy, momma healthy, and it is a BOY!!!! I wasn't keen on the name Samuel, but God affirmed through lots of things that this was to be his name. So, we now have Samuel Lucas Kappes and I am so happy we didn't stop trying. Here is what God blessed us with.
1. Samuel is full of energy and has the goofiest sense of humor like his daddy.
2. He loves to sing and play drums. Drums can be anywhere. Chinese restaurant with chop sticks and even down to forks on a table for the whole restaurant to hear. He also loves air guitar at all times. Dancing comes along with all of it.
3. He loves to be outside but not in the sun. He is not a fan.
3. I love his sweet smile, blonde hair, and blue eyes. He is a spitting image of his father.
4. He talks all the time, clear as day. His older sister may have had something to do with that.
5. His fits consist of him just laying on the floor rolling around quietly or screaming at the top of his lungs for all to hear.
6. Right now, everything is the color Blue. It must be his favorite.
7. He loves to hug and say sorry when he offends other little people.
8. When we say time for night night, his response it, " I watch cartoons 5 minutes."
8. HE LOVES MILK!!!!
9. Samuel is not our dare devil. He will not just jump on something or slide right down. He is deathly afraid of Chuckie Cheese and the Chic-Fil-A Cow. His favorite thing to say in those situations is, " It scare you."
10. When he knows he is going to get in trouble, his famous quote is, " I funny, I so funny." That comes with a big huge smile and it makes it very hard to discipline him.
11. I love this little boy with all my heart. I can't believe that I almost gave up and this little boy was just waiting for us. I know that he will do great things and become the Man of God that God has created him to be. He makes us laugh constantly and his smile will melt your heart.
I am blessed with these amazing kids and God has so much in store for them. Even though it is very hard most days to be a stay at home mom, I WOULDN'T TRADE IT FOR THE WORLD. I love seeing them learn and grow and I know that God has called me to a great work: Raising Disciples!!!!!
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
My Daughter!!!
I am in a reflective mode maybe because my children just had birthday's. Well, Katelyn Faith just turned 8. It seems so fast. I was organizing some of my pictures the other day and there she was: my little girl with crazy hair that we couldn't get to lay down. So, here is a list of all the things that makes her special:
1. She is unbelievably beautiful and already knows that her body is a Temple. She will pick clothes that are modest and make sure things aren't to low on her or she'll grab a tank top.( thank the Lord)
2. She is intelligent and strong-willed. I know this strong-will is going to come in handy later but now it is hard at times. We are just teaching her authority and God is the ultimate.
3. Sometimes I wonder if she was given to the wrong family. She loves the outdoors, animals, dirt, climbing trees, hiking, riding her bike, carving with her knife, jumping off 15 ft diving boards and pretty much anything outside and dirty. She could very well live on a farm and work harder than any man. She would milk cows, ride horses, sleep outside, dissect frogs, etc. Josh and I love a/c, to be clean, sleeping in a bed, could never take care of animals on a farm (they wouldn't survive), and we love the Indoors!!!
4. She has a huge heart for those less fortunate and those in need. She wants to go to nursing homes and hospitals to visit. It doesn't scare her a bit. She even talks about being a missionary in Africa.
5. She has her own style. I try my hardest to get her in a dress and a bow, BUT IT WON'T HAPPEN. She loves t-shirts, shorts, and tennis shoes. She loves to " look cool" not " pretty", even though she is so pretty and will break hearts one day(already is).
6. I love her passion for life. She lives everyday to the fullest, that's for sure.
7. She surrendered her life to the Lord when she was 5. She came to us and confessed everything she had ever done. Not brushing her teeth when we told her to, saying things about us when we left the room, etc... :). That was a day that I had prayed for and I continue to pray that her life would make Jesus famous wherever she goes.
8. She looks up to very godly women we know and that makes me happy. She sees the traits that a godly woman has and wants to have those as well.
9. She is so good at sports and wants to do it all. Soccer, Softball, Basketball. And music....guitar, drums. She even says traveling around and singing about Jesus would be so cool. ( like her hero Courtney Phelps).
10. I love this little girl so much and all that she has brought to our lives. She has such a future and I see everyday that God created her just the way she is for His purpose. I know that she is and will do great things.
So, that's just a short list of this amazing girl God gave me. She teaches me everyday just in her life. I love her more than words can say and I am so proud to be her momma!!!!!
1. She is unbelievably beautiful and already knows that her body is a Temple. She will pick clothes that are modest and make sure things aren't to low on her or she'll grab a tank top.( thank the Lord)
2. She is intelligent and strong-willed. I know this strong-will is going to come in handy later but now it is hard at times. We are just teaching her authority and God is the ultimate.
3. Sometimes I wonder if she was given to the wrong family. She loves the outdoors, animals, dirt, climbing trees, hiking, riding her bike, carving with her knife, jumping off 15 ft diving boards and pretty much anything outside and dirty. She could very well live on a farm and work harder than any man. She would milk cows, ride horses, sleep outside, dissect frogs, etc. Josh and I love a/c, to be clean, sleeping in a bed, could never take care of animals on a farm (they wouldn't survive), and we love the Indoors!!!
4. She has a huge heart for those less fortunate and those in need. She wants to go to nursing homes and hospitals to visit. It doesn't scare her a bit. She even talks about being a missionary in Africa.
5. She has her own style. I try my hardest to get her in a dress and a bow, BUT IT WON'T HAPPEN. She loves t-shirts, shorts, and tennis shoes. She loves to " look cool" not " pretty", even though she is so pretty and will break hearts one day(already is).
6. I love her passion for life. She lives everyday to the fullest, that's for sure.
7. She surrendered her life to the Lord when she was 5. She came to us and confessed everything she had ever done. Not brushing her teeth when we told her to, saying things about us when we left the room, etc... :). That was a day that I had prayed for and I continue to pray that her life would make Jesus famous wherever she goes.
8. She looks up to very godly women we know and that makes me happy. She sees the traits that a godly woman has and wants to have those as well.
9. She is so good at sports and wants to do it all. Soccer, Softball, Basketball. And music....guitar, drums. She even says traveling around and singing about Jesus would be so cool. ( like her hero Courtney Phelps).
10. I love this little girl so much and all that she has brought to our lives. She has such a future and I see everyday that God created her just the way she is for His purpose. I know that she is and will do great things.
So, that's just a short list of this amazing girl God gave me. She teaches me everyday just in her life. I love her more than words can say and I am so proud to be her momma!!!!!
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
It Is Finished...now pay me!!!
Did you know that back when Jesus was on earth, carpenters had a certain way they did work for families? When they would go to a home and do work, the family would feed them a dinner when they were done. When the carpenter was done eating he would fold his napkin in a special way that showed the family he was done eating and now pay him. Jesus was a carpenter. That was what He made a living doing.
Now go to when Jesus was crucified and put into the tomb wrapped in cloths. When they checked the tomb because the stone was rolled away, the cloths were folded in a special way and left in the tomb. I think these customs of a carpenter was used by Jesus in His death. Jesus is saying " It is Finished, now Pay Me." Pay Me with your life, Surrender it all to Me, Praise Me with what I am due!!! I am Finished!!!
Now go to when Jesus was crucified and put into the tomb wrapped in cloths. When they checked the tomb because the stone was rolled away, the cloths were folded in a special way and left in the tomb. I think these customs of a carpenter was used by Jesus in His death. Jesus is saying " It is Finished, now Pay Me." Pay Me with your life, Surrender it all to Me, Praise Me with what I am due!!! I am Finished!!!
Sunday, July 10, 2011
I Just Need Jesus
I heard a sermon today that knocked me back. He was preaching out of the book of Mark and on the faith of Joseph and the women who came to Jesus' tomb. The part that stood out to me was when Joseph went and asked for Jesus's body. He didn't ask for miracles, signs, and wonders....JUST JESUS. If Jesus never did another good thing for me, would I still follow Him? If all I got was just Jesus, would I have surrendered my life to Him? We are constantly wanting Jesus to do something for us and show us great things but what if we just wanted JESUS? When I pray, do I just pray for more of Him or more of cool things He does. I feel like when I can say all I want is Jesus, my faith will soar.
My life at this moment is in the air. I have lots of questions I want answered and healing I want to see. Josh and I have no idea what is next and that scares me to death most days. But then there are moments, when Jesus sits with me and whispers...." All you need is me." The calmness and peace is overwhelming in those moments. I like to be comfortable, who doesn't?? I WILL NEVER DO WHAT JESUS HAS FOR ME TO DO IN COMFORT!!!! I never thought I'd say those words. My faith will be based on signs and wonders instead of my Savior who just asks for surrender. So, give me Jesus!!!
My life at this moment is in the air. I have lots of questions I want answered and healing I want to see. Josh and I have no idea what is next and that scares me to death most days. But then there are moments, when Jesus sits with me and whispers...." All you need is me." The calmness and peace is overwhelming in those moments. I like to be comfortable, who doesn't?? I WILL NEVER DO WHAT JESUS HAS FOR ME TO DO IN COMFORT!!!! I never thought I'd say those words. My faith will be based on signs and wonders instead of my Savior who just asks for surrender. So, give me Jesus!!!
Thursday, June 16, 2011
My Letter To You, Dad!!
Dad,
As all the Father's Day commercials play and presents are bought, I hurt. I miss you more than you could ever imagine. This will be my first Father's Day without you. There are days when I feel like you are still here and other days when knowing you are gone makes my heart ache. I remember so much about you. I remember when I was young and a boy gave me my first heartbreak. You held me in the corner of my room while I cried. You didn't tell me how ridiculous I was being or tell me to stop, you just held me. I will never forget that security and warmth I felt. I remember you working 2 jobs to put me and Jerry in Christian school but never missing a ball game. I remember when mom told you it was us or alcohol and you chose us. YOU CHOSE US!!!! I remember my wedding day and how happy you were but how you kept reminding me that I was still your little girl. We danced and I cried because I knew things would change between us. I remember when I was in labor with Katelyn, you drove home 3 hours to work ( because they wouldn't let you off) and drove right back when you got off just in time to see your new granddaughter. I remember when I was little and I loved working in your tool shed with you because you loved teaching me to work with my hands. I remember it all dad!!! You were amazing and God used you to shape who I am now. Thank you for showing me how to love and be loved. Thank you for constantly reminding me not to worry and give it to the Lord. More than anything, THANKS FOR CHOOSING ME!!! You could have chosen a different road but you loved me and the Lord that much!! Katelyn will always remember her pawpaw who thought she hung the moon. Who swam with her in 30 degree water because no one else would. And who rode her on the Harley when he didn't feel good. She will never forget you. Samuel stills remembers when you taught him to wind up when he throws a ball and sees a picture of you and smiles and says "Pawpaw John". Oh, how I wish they could have you as they grow up like I did. I know this pain I feel will get easier to bear but I miss you!!! So, on this Father's Day, I will still celebrate you. You still live on in us and all the things you taught us. I know that you will have an amazing Father's Dat dancing with your Savior. It will be the best you have ever had. I love you daddy!!!! And I will see you soon!!!
As all the Father's Day commercials play and presents are bought, I hurt. I miss you more than you could ever imagine. This will be my first Father's Day without you. There are days when I feel like you are still here and other days when knowing you are gone makes my heart ache. I remember so much about you. I remember when I was young and a boy gave me my first heartbreak. You held me in the corner of my room while I cried. You didn't tell me how ridiculous I was being or tell me to stop, you just held me. I will never forget that security and warmth I felt. I remember you working 2 jobs to put me and Jerry in Christian school but never missing a ball game. I remember when mom told you it was us or alcohol and you chose us. YOU CHOSE US!!!! I remember my wedding day and how happy you were but how you kept reminding me that I was still your little girl. We danced and I cried because I knew things would change between us. I remember when I was in labor with Katelyn, you drove home 3 hours to work ( because they wouldn't let you off) and drove right back when you got off just in time to see your new granddaughter. I remember when I was little and I loved working in your tool shed with you because you loved teaching me to work with my hands. I remember it all dad!!! You were amazing and God used you to shape who I am now. Thank you for showing me how to love and be loved. Thank you for constantly reminding me not to worry and give it to the Lord. More than anything, THANKS FOR CHOOSING ME!!! You could have chosen a different road but you loved me and the Lord that much!! Katelyn will always remember her pawpaw who thought she hung the moon. Who swam with her in 30 degree water because no one else would. And who rode her on the Harley when he didn't feel good. She will never forget you. Samuel stills remembers when you taught him to wind up when he throws a ball and sees a picture of you and smiles and says "Pawpaw John". Oh, how I wish they could have you as they grow up like I did. I know this pain I feel will get easier to bear but I miss you!!! So, on this Father's Day, I will still celebrate you. You still live on in us and all the things you taught us. I know that you will have an amazing Father's Dat dancing with your Savior. It will be the best you have ever had. I love you daddy!!!! And I will see you soon!!!
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Marriage
It has been so long since I have posted. I have been through so much in the last few months, which maybe one day I'll write about. I am brokenhearted over some news from old friends about their marriage. I wrestle with wondering how we get to a place that marriage is no longer a covenant but a bus ticket where we can get on and off. I have a heavy heart for these friends and know that God has so much more for our marriages.
On July 28th, Josh and I will celebrate 10 years of marriage. WOW, what a wild ride it has been. There have been ups and downs but not once, even in the lowest points, did I ever want to be without this man. He is my best friend, my mentor, and my biggest fan, and my encourager. In 10 years, he has grown in such an amazing way that I thank God everyday for this man. As the husband and leader of our home, I have seen him mature into a man with high standards and much strength. The father that he is blows me away and our kids are and will benefit greatly from him. I say all that to say, that I am in for the long haul. We are not perfect and there are days when I don't like him very much but God sustains our marriage.
I believe that our marriages are attacked greatly because Satan knows if he gets our marriages he gets us. I think he wants our husbands first, as the leaders of our home, because if he gets the leader, he has more of chance to get the home and family. I want a marriage that is Christ-centered above all else. I strive to point my emotions, opinions, and life to Christ. If I do that then my marriage can thrive. If I linger in my pride, selfishness, and rights , my marriage will fail. I am so thankful for the godly man that I have been blessed with and the love that he constantly shows me even when I don't deserve it. What a picture of Jesus he is to me.
Oh God, be in our marriages. Pour your spirit into our lives so that we love and respect each other. God, you have a standard of marriage and we fall short, but you are good. You continue to pick us up and set us on eagle's wings( Isaiah 40:28-31). You walk with us through the tough and good days. I give it all to you. Do with it what you will.
On July 28th, Josh and I will celebrate 10 years of marriage. WOW, what a wild ride it has been. There have been ups and downs but not once, even in the lowest points, did I ever want to be without this man. He is my best friend, my mentor, and my biggest fan, and my encourager. In 10 years, he has grown in such an amazing way that I thank God everyday for this man. As the husband and leader of our home, I have seen him mature into a man with high standards and much strength. The father that he is blows me away and our kids are and will benefit greatly from him. I say all that to say, that I am in for the long haul. We are not perfect and there are days when I don't like him very much but God sustains our marriage.
I believe that our marriages are attacked greatly because Satan knows if he gets our marriages he gets us. I think he wants our husbands first, as the leaders of our home, because if he gets the leader, he has more of chance to get the home and family. I want a marriage that is Christ-centered above all else. I strive to point my emotions, opinions, and life to Christ. If I do that then my marriage can thrive. If I linger in my pride, selfishness, and rights , my marriage will fail. I am so thankful for the godly man that I have been blessed with and the love that he constantly shows me even when I don't deserve it. What a picture of Jesus he is to me.
Oh God, be in our marriages. Pour your spirit into our lives so that we love and respect each other. God, you have a standard of marriage and we fall short, but you are good. You continue to pick us up and set us on eagle's wings( Isaiah 40:28-31). You walk with us through the tough and good days. I give it all to you. Do with it what you will.
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