Grieving!

Yesterday morning, I went with my mom to a Holiday Grievance Seminar. It was a time to give us strategies, ideas, and encouragement on how to get through the holiday's without your loved one. We heard stories from others that about their specific loved ones and how special they were. I was so happy to be there with my mom. See, when my dad passed away in March, I had to keep going. I had two kids and had to keep homeschooling a trucking along to finish the school year. Because of that, I don't think I grieved the best way. I'd wait until night and just crash and cry. I would try and stay strong for mom and especially for my daughter Katelyn who has so many questions. I cried when she cried and held her when she needed holding. She did see my struggle, which I think is healthy for me and her. But, the bawling, anger, and frustration with it all came out when she wasn't looking. So, I didn't have all cry fests(which i probably should have) to heal and grieve. Going to this seminar helped me release a lot in a safe environment.

One of the breakout sessions was Writing. We had to write down words about things that were special to dad. We brought in pictures of him on all of his Harley's he had and built through his life. So some of my words described a motorcylce: heavy, loud, strong. And then describing my dad: Intelligent, teacher, carefree, loving,etc,. After we wrote those words we had to write a story with the words in it. It could be imaginary, real, not make sense, and so on. Well, I wrote a story and thought I'd share with all of you. It's short and is real but I have a different name and what I am going through is made to be another lesson. Enjoy!

        Nicole was taught to do many things by her father. She was taught how to fix things and work with her hands. But this new project and lesson was heavy. It was too much for her to handle and do. It made her sad and she wanted to shout very loud in frustration. She knew not to worry and to be carefree like her father. She wanted to be selfless and work on it alone so not to bother anyone else.
        Nicole knew she was taught by an intelligent teacher who had so much love for her. She didn't want to live with this hard project to do. She couldn't answer the questions or fix this one. Nicole had to do this new project without her father and loving teacher. She didn't know if she could do it.