While Mom is Down...

I have been DOWN for the count for 2 weeks now and I HATED IT!! Being with kids 24/7, you always say to yourself, " I wish I could just get a day to myself." Well, a day is nice but being confined to sitting and laying for 2 weeks is just over the top. Especially when you like control, giving up everything to someone else for 2 weeks is really hard. So while I was recovering from surgery, I learned a few things:

1. The dust on the shelves WILL NOT kill anyone. I watched the shelves on our bookcase, media center, dressers, etc just build up while I sat. I had moments when I wanted to go and just clean it all up. Then, I would hear from a friend or my family that if you push it, you will set yourself back in recovering. AHHHH!!! I have made it to my third week and the dust that was driving me crazy has not really changed my family or how we live each day.

2. My kids can do a lot more for themselves than I thought. I watched my nine year old work around our house like she was the mom on some days. My three year old didn't have to be carried around all day and when going in and out of stores (which I do because I think he's still a baby-HA!). I watched them share their toys better and even get their own snacks and drinks. Once I wasn't available to do a lot for them, they showed me that they have been keeping a secret from me: THEY ARE CAPABLE OF SO MUCH MORE!

3. My husband can run the show without my input. Josh spent two weeks running the home. He not only worked at his job (which he had to miss some), prepared for sermons, did ministry, had meetings, prepared for church each Sunday, and kept up with his studying but he also lugged kids to and from soccer, did laundry, cleaned(in his own way LOL), took care of me day and night, played with the kids, kept up with where and when each child had somewhere to be, took care of a sick child, and still managed to look handsome through it all. He didn't need to know how I did it or my input, he just did it. We had some help from his mom and mine but ultimately, so much fell on him and I just don't think there's anything sexier than that...just sayin'!!

I am one blessed woman to know that when I need to be the one taken care of and looked after, that I have wonderful people in my life to do just that. I had meals brought, babysitting offered and done, prayers, balloons, flowers, and encouragement from so many that have been where I am. I am so thankful and overwhelmed at how God carries me through when I don't have the strength. It is great to know that while mom is down, those who love her will step in and get the job done.

To My Sweet Girl!

Since I am home after surgery recovering and basically DOING NOTHING, I am relying on others and even on my sweet girl to handle things for me. She is 9 and can run this house better than me. She tells me when I should nap and to remember that the doctor said you have to take it easy. There used to be days 2 years ago that I would see the Big Yellow School Bus come through the neighborhood and I'd think, " Wow, what am I doing?" or " I wonder if we can work out a deal and they could just let my kids ride around for a couple of hours."(don't judge:) Now, I see the bus and think, " I am so glad we are in this together and I am blessed to be called to this life. I am so happy." I was thinking about how Katelyn is growing so fast and how I started this blog to have it to show my kids when they get older and that they can find strength and encouragement from it.  So here it is: A Letter To My Sweet Girl!

Katelyn,

I LOVE YOU!!! When you were very small, you gave us a run for our money. You are strong-willed, full of energy and wonder, our animal, music, and sports loving tomboy, and our sweet angel. I am so proud of the little woman I see growing in you and I am honored that God gave you to me. There are days when we barely make it through but I wouldn't change a thing. You make me smile A LOT and bring joy to our world. I pray that God uses you greatly to further His Kingdom and that He becomes so real to you as the years go by. Your dad and I have seen you grow and change and wish we could keep you like this forever. I know that you have an amazing future ahead of you. You want to be a missionary, a Veterinarian, a musician, a Horse farmer, a photographer, a MOM, and even a soccer player. I don't know which one will be what God calls you to but I know that you will be great at any of them (you already are). Thank you for teaching me more than I've taught you and thank you for loving me and forgiving me when I mess up and let you down. Thank you for taking such good care of me when I am down and for your hugs and kisses when I need them the most. Thank you for having a giving spirit for others and for desiring to change this world for Jesus. Thank you for being who you are no matter if others get it or not and thank you for not caring what others think. You amaze me with your faith, genuine spirit, love, and STYLE!!! I love you more than you will ever know and I am so glad God let me be your mom. I can't wait to continue this life with you and see God transform your life. You have my heart and you always will, no matter what!

Love,
Mommy

True Love!!

There are so many people in the world who have never known a love like mine. My first ever love is Christ. There is no love like the love He has for me. When it comes to men, my father was my first love. He was gracious, kind, funny, loving, forgiving, and patient. As I grew, I prayed I would find a man like him to spend the rest of my life with. I spent time with many who were good but none compared to the true love that I have now in my husband. He is perfect for me and meets me where I am weak. As a young woman I thought love was what the movies made it out to be. As I grew, I realized that love was from God and it was created for me to experience Him in it. Love was made to glorify God and I have husband who does just that.

Love is not long walks on beaches: it is watching me birth two children and telling me I'm still the sexiest woman alive. Love is not butterflies in my stomach: it is holding me when I don't understand the depression that is overtaking my mind. Love is not getting along all the time: it is fighting through difficulty and coming out on the other side stronger and closer. Love is not having everything we want: it is pushing through the hard times and seeing the blessing that is our life. Love is not quitting when there's failure: it is loving the other person knowing that I too am imperfect and could fail at any point. Love is not selfish: it is holding me when the first man I ever loved met Jesus. Love is not good health: it is when a catheter has to be emptied in the middle of the night or you need your hand held when the doctor tells you it's another miscarriage. Love is beyond limits of time and it is all for God's glory so that in the love I feel here, I see Jesus. The way I love and am loved here on earth is a picture of the love my Savior gives me everyday. I pray that each of you will have a husband like mine, a husband who is a picture of true love and devotion, not only in the good, but also in the REALLY BAD!! Thank you Josh for pulling me through(especially this week) every step of the way. You love me more than I deserve and see me better than I am!!!

We're Finally Here!

Well, we're finally here. We are 4 days away from Gospel Life Church's launch Sunday. We have toiled, prayed, sacrificed, laughed, cried, planned, and fasted. Our team has grown very close and the love we share is truly an example of what Gospel Life will be like. We seek to love God and love others all in the name of our Savior and Lord. This will be a crazy weekend and I am sure there will be bumps and situations that will arise as Satan seeks to stop Gospel Life from sharing the love of Christ with Newton-Conover. As the first Sunday arrives, I ask that my friends pray for us, the church, and the people who will come. I ask that you pray for our vision to stay focused and in line with God's will. I ask you to pray that my husband stays focused on the words God wants him to preach and that hearts are ready to hear them. I ask that you pray for salvation for those who do not know true gospel but religious traditions. I ask that you pray for those who may have never heard about the Almighty Savior who loves them.

If you get a chance, check out our website and join us if you are looking for a family and a HOME. If not, check us out anyway. The whole team is not on the page yet but will be added very soon. Thanks for all of you who have prayed for us the last 18 months. Thanks to Providence Church for seeing God's plan for Gospel Life and for loving my husband and me so much when we needed it more than ever. Here's the link for Gospel Life Church!!!!

gospellifenc.com

To The Hurting Woman

This past week I have been out and seen so many women that look tired and worn. I don't mean just everyday tired, I mean the woman who has been battered by life. I can see it in how she carries herself or how she continues to make one bad life choice after another. Her body is worn and her hair is normally thrown up and or tossed all over. She has skin that looks ten years older than she really is and her eyes are black underneath and sunken in. Those are the outward things I see that do not make me judge but wonder if anyone ever told her that she could be so much more. I wonder if anyone ever told her about the Savior that wants to wrap her in His arms and show her the amazing love she has never felt. I wonder if anyone has ever taught her that she could have a life that is not free of pain but full of grace and peace. I wonder if anyone has told her that she was intimately and perfectly created in the womb to become everything God made her to be.

My heart aches for this woman because I know she has a void in her heart that can only be filled with the love of her Creator. She continues to fill it with addictions, men, bad friendships, and the world. Those things leave her EMPTY, TIRED, and even BATTERED. They continue to use her up and leave her without hope. So as I have seen this woman over and over and even women who I have known here is my letter to you:

Dear Battered Woman,

YOU ARE LOVED! There are so many things that you have turned to in life that you thought would make you feel loved and accepted. Satan has tricked you into thinking that this is it, this is the life you were dealt so why live any other way. You may have come from a home that was broken and you saw addiction, abuse, and constant hate and anger. You may have come from a great home and because of some bad decisions, you are too tired to make good ones. Everyone has made bad decisions but Jesus meets you in that moment and wants to restore and save you. He created you for so much more than you ever thought you could be. He is your Savior: not alcohol or drugs, not men, not self-help books or good deeds, not food, and not even your family. HE WANTS TO SAVE YOU FROM IT ALL. That's why He died, to save you from the evil one who seeks to kill and destroy you anyway he can (I Peter 5:8). I want you to know that there is so much more He has for you than settling into a life that leaves you battered and hurting. He created you for more than being some man's punching bag. He created you for more than an addiction. He created you for more than thinking you have to show your body in order to gain love or feel accepted. He created you for more than a life without HIM in it. You are so precious to Him and to me. I hurt for you and know that if someone just told you how an amazing Savior seeks to change you life, maybe you would have a different life now. Life with Christ is not free of pain and  it is a life of sacrifice but it is lived with Him who knows how many hairs are on your head
(Matthew 10:30) and who prepares a place for you in heaven (I Cor 2:9). Precious woman, please know that you are more than you ever thought and you are loved more than you could ever imagine. Let your past be the past and move on to a life you had no idea could be for you. Jesus welcomes you, accepts you NOW, and will ROCK YOUR WORLD! Hand this life over to Him in exchange for a life that glorifies Him and a life full of love, grace, mercy and forgiveness!

Jenna

Confessions of a Youth Pastor's Wife

Now that I am officially no longer a youth pastor's wife but a church planters wife, I thought I'd share some secrets. I was a youth pastor's wife for 10 years. We had great times, bad times, low times, exciting times, and sad times. That will bring me to my first confession:

#1: The saddest time was leaving teenagers. We were in three churches and each time we had to say goodbye to the teenagers, it was quite excruciating. That was the worst part of leaving and starting a new calling God had for us. Everything within you wants to take every teenager with you to your next adventure. I always had this excitement in me because I knew God had something else for us but the other part of me would be more sad than I can explain. I had many teenagers that I saw amazing potential in and that challenged me more than I did them. Leaving those sweet faces was most definitely the hardest part of youth ministry.

#2: We talked about you. HEHE!!! Really, we did. We would talk about how great a student was doing or how desperate they were for something real in their lives. We talked about how we could make them feel more loved and accepted. We talked about how we couldn't believe how they took the gospel to their schools with no hesitation. We also talked about the select few who drove us nuts and what we could do to see them in a new way:) They were also prayed for more than anyone knows.

#3: LOCK-INS ARE FROM THE DEVIL!! Seriously, who came up with the idea to lock 20-30 teenagers in a gym and feed them nothing but junk food, candy and soda all night long? As if that's not bad enough, adults who get stuck dealing with that madness ALL NIGHT LONG!!!! I hated them and as most of the teenagers who knew me knows: I DIDN'T GO TO THEM UNLESS I HAD TO! I love sleep and I love peace and quiet and lock-ins don't quite fit in that category. Josh and I stopped doing them by our third year in youth ministry...hint, hint to any youth pastors out there....DON'T DO IT!!!

#4: Out of town youth trips were not a vacation. I remember seeing a clip from skit guys about a pastor who asked a youth pastor is he had a good vacation while on a ski trip with the youth group. I laugh hysterically every time I see it because leading a trip with 50 teenagers OUT OF TOWN is NOT a vacation. Do we see God do amazing things? YES!! Do we have a blast getting to know new teenagers?YES!! Did we know that the students learn spiritual truth at many of these things? YES!! On the flip side of that, are we stressed out that you may break your leg skiing down the mountain? YES!! Are we praying that we will get at least 2 hours of sleep the whole weekend? YES!! Do we miss our kids that we left behind? YES!! Are we scared that you'll do something stupid that we'll have to tell your parents about later?YES!! I have great memories on trips with youth and many that I will never forget but man are those things stressful.

#5: We truly love each teenager. There is no doubt that teenagers can drive anyone crazy but we loved each one that crossed our paths. I saw something great in every single one of them and am now seeing God do some amazing things in many of their lives as adults (yes, I'm that old). I have gotten phone calls about how things I have said changed the course of their lives forever. I have also gotten phone calls that have devastated Josh and I and brought us to tears. In all of it, we have loved so many teenagers and seen great works of the Lord in so many. Josh and I have 2 children but I feel like we have hundreds more. They have stretched me, broke me, moved me, challenged me, encouraged me, and loved me and for that I am forever changed.

So, those are my top 5 confessions. There are many more but some may not be very nice and some would incriminate so many...HEHE!! I am blessed to have been a youth pastor's wife even in the hard times. As we are on a new journey, AGAIN, I love looking back at where God has had us. To every teenager that has crossed our paths, WE LOVE YOU, YOU HAVE BEEN COVERED IN PRAYER, and YOU HAVE CHANGED US IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER!! :)

Crazy Times!!!

I think I enjoy making myself go crazy. We started school 2 weeks ago so we are in the books and learning. Now, let all the other things of life happen!!!Katelyn starts soccer games September 8 and 9, Gospel Life launch Sunday is September 9, I have a surgery that will have me out for who knows how long on September 10..... oh, and throw in homeschool co-op, piano lessons, and horse camp. As if that all is not keeping us busy, I decide, " Hey, let's put our house on the market, no big deal." AHHH!!!! What in the world was I thinking? As I sit hear preparing for it all and making sure all my ducks are in row so I can hand over the reigns to someone else while I heal, I can't believe how blessed I am. I look at all the things my children get to experience and be involved in. I look at the way God has called us to plant a church and that we get to be a part of something big like that. I look at the fact that I escaped possible disease because a doctor caught something early enough. I look at our home that has been great for us for the last 6 and half years. I look at a husband who loves me unconditionally and loves our marriage more than himself. I look at it all and the craziness that it all brings and I AM BLESSED!!! In the quiet moments and in the loud moments, I know that God has me right here, for right now, for a purpose. There are days when the chaos takes over and I think that I need some french fries and a coke desperately to make it through...hehe, that is what I crave when all is crazy!!! Then I have moments like today as I plan it all out, God shows me the blessing that it all is and the good that is in it all. I am thankful and overwhelmed that He showed me this today and I wanted to share it with y'all. I know that many of us have seasons like these where we have a lot going on and we can easily see it as stressful but today, let it show you how blessed you are. If there are some things that need to go, let them go. If there are some things that need to stay, give your 100% at those things. I hope that you will be encouraged and uplifted that God can step in at a moment of crazy and give you a different perspective.